Remember: Alex and Aro (boyxboy)

Chapter 12

September, 2016, 10 months ago.

I'm going to see Olive again after school finishes. I have to. I feel a huge need to see her in case something happens. As soon as they buzz me through, I'm rushing into her room where she stays, laying in bed, weak and vulnerable. "Alex." Her voice becomes as cheerful as it can without causing her too much pain or effort.

"I didn't think I'd see you again so soon. What a surprise." She tries pulling herself up into a sitting position again. I cut straight to the point. "I told him. Carl." I add and she smiles though her eyes are tired and sad.

"I doubt he took it well." She sighs sadly and glances to the photo she has of him on the table. "He's always been a bit of an unpredicatble kid but I knew he was going to flip a little." She adds quieter and I look her in the face.

"Why didn't you tell him about me? I'm his older brother. Does he know why you're in here? Does he know about Jodie?" I demand and she covers her ears and lets out a distressed cry.

"Stop, Alex." She pleads, wiping at the tears forming in her eyes. "Don't play sweetness and light with me. I need answers." I insist firmly and she starts to shake from nerves. "I didn't mean it, Alex. I told you I didn't mean to kill her." She breaks off, covering her face with her hands.

I sit in silence, listening. "She said awful things about me and I just snapped." She wipes more tears away as they fall. "I have never regretted anything more than killing Jodie." She insists, suddenly fixing me with a firm stare. I look away from her, averting her eyes.

"Does Dad know?" I pipe up, closing my eyes so I don't have to see the fleeting emotions on her face. After he left when I was eight, I never thought about him again. It was only when Jodie died that I thought about whether he had any idea that his only daughter was dead.

"Yes. He saw it on the news and contacted me. I told him that you had been taken into care and he wasn't interested in getting you out." She breaks off again, coughing from her illness.

"When you...first went to the psychiatrist at fourteen, he was angry at me. He said it was no wonder you had mental health issues. That I had brought that on you from my bad parenting." She starts to sob, covering her face in her hands. I reach out to give her what I think is a comforting pat.

She persists, sobbing like a child, knees drawing up to her chest. "I wish I was there to be at your graduation when you left university." She changes topic suddenly and I look up at her in confusion. "You were the first person to ever get a degree in our family." She smiles for a second.

"The rest of us were always slobs. Uninterested with education."
I think back to Jodie scoffing about Mam's lack of respect for education. "I left school with no GCSE'S. I had no qualifications whatsoever." She shakes her head in dismay, while she still has a sparkle in her eye from our conversation about my career.

"I never thought you'd become a teacher." She smiles again. "You always hated maths as a kid." She reminds fondly. "I remember endless conversations with maths teachers at parents evenings. They were always nagging at you to put more effort in." She gives me a look.

"Do you teach Carl?" She sits forward, full of interest and I can't help but feel that she is more interested in him than me. Clearly, she's seen a lot more of Carl than me. It's almost as if she's forgotten that I existed until now.

"Yeah. He's shit at maths." I shrug and I can't help but feel a little pleasure from the look of disappointment on her face. "Go easy on him. He's a good boy. Did you ask him if he wanted to live with you?" She looks excited from her questions and I feel a little sad by remembering Carl's reaction.

"He was pretty...angry. I don't think he expected it at all. He didn't seem overjoyed when I told him." I admit truthfully though she looks shocked. "I thought he'd have jumped at the chance to get out of the care system." She sighs again and takes a sip from a plastic cup of water.

"What about Carl's father? What do I say about him?" I ask, realising that she hasn't mentioned anything and I can't remember any boyfriend coming back and forth to the house. She gives me a look as if I've got two heads. "Come on, Alex. You're meant to be the clever one."

"You're full brothers, Alex. Your father came into town unexpectantly and well....he got me pregnant. Again." She grimaces at the memory. No way. "Dad came into town and you didn't tell me?" I demand, rising from my seat in anger. "Calm down, Alex. He didn't want to see you. Or Jodie." She admits gently.

I deflate a little, slouching into my seat. "Jesus." I breathe out on defeat. My own father, not even interested in my life or well being. "Has Carl met him? Ever?" I ask her and I feel a slight twinge of jealousy as she says yes.

"Only a few times. They didn't think much of each other. Your father was never really a paternal man." She says quietly in a disappointed tone. "Can I see him? Do you know where he lives now? Has he remarried?" I ask curiously.

Olive sighs at me and her lip trembles. "Oh, Alex." She whimpers, tears rolling down her cheeks. I see the battle of emotions going on inside of her and I start to feel uneasy as if I know what she's going to say.

She clasps my hands tightly and looks into my eyes seriously, her face all solemn. "Alex, your father died when you were fifteen. He had a heart attack."