complicated ♡ b.bh

Chapter 36

Mary

"They want you to what?!" Taehyung yells.

Baekhyun had just told us about his meeting with Kyuhyun and I was beyond shocked. He was going to move to America temporarily and train there.

"Why can't you just train here though?" Stephanie asks. Baekhyun shrugs before continuing.

"They think I have I'll do better there and I'll debut here. They think my popularity will be bigger here because I trained in America. I don't know how that works but I think I want to go. I finally get to pursue my dream of becoming an idol and here it is," he says whilst pacing around the room. He was smiling brightly but then he suddenly frowned.

"I didn't think I would have to travel across the world to be one though."

I sit quietly and look at the wall on the other side of the room as if it was the most beautiful white wall in the world. Baekhyun had called us over to his house and now we were all sitting in his room. Taehyung was standing in front of Baekhyun near the door whilst Stephanie sat on his bed and I sat on the floor with a cushion on my lap. I was happy for him and proud but something wanted me to stop him. I couldn't let him go not after all the things we've been through together. I couldn't even imagine how Taehyung must be feeling. They've been best friends since they started school and they probably had dreams of graduating together and now it was being pulled away from them.

I hadn't said anything since Baekhyun had spilled the news. I couldn't talk. I was shocked and I couldn't move. He had told us he only had today to decide. They were in a hurry to look for students to come to America and finally found a small group. They wanted to start training as soon as possible. I want to say no to him but I could be wrecking his career, I couldn't do that to him. He's worked so hard for it; I can't take that away from him. It's his dream but something tells me that I will regret it if I let him go.

"What do you think Mary? Should I go?" I suddenly hear Baekhyun's voice and my throat goes dry. I look him in the eye and I was almost lost in them. His smile tells me he's happy but his eyes tell me something else. It's like he trying to tell me something but I can't seem to figure out what he wants. It's like he's telling me to say the right thing but I don't know what the right thing is.

"Is this what you truly want?" He nods and I smile at him and really look him in the eye.

"I think you should go," I say after a few moments. "If you really love singing, do it. Don't worry about us. We'll stay in contact with you," I say and Taehyung has wide eyes. I'm guessing he's not taking this news well. Well, they are best friends so it must be very hard on him.

"Contact with him? He's going to be overseas which means new time zone. When's he's there it'll probably be night there while it's morning here. He'll have a busy schedule and school so he won't have time for us," Taehyung says angrily.

"Stop looking at the negative sides to this," Stephanie scolds him. "How can you say things like that? This is your best friend's dream? Wouldn't you want him to achieve that?"

I watch as the two cousins argue and look at Baekhyun who was staring at the floor. I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up quickly and grabbed Baekhyun's hand.

"Where are you going?" Taehyung yells at me as I drag myself and Baekhyun out of the room.

"Call me when you've finally calmed down," I ignore Taehyung calling us back as I walk out of the house with Baekhyun. I was still holding his hand and I didn't want to let go. Baekhyun didn't either so we just left it that way. We began to walk silently around his street whilst holding hands. I glanced over at Baekhyun who had a frown on his face and looked like he was in deep thought.

"Hey," I softly squeeze his hand and he glances over to me. I give him a reassuring smile and he sighs.

"What do I do Mary?" He asks me. His eyes were filled with sadness and hurt. Choosing his best friend and his dream must be hard.

"You'll find a way," I say softly and we continue walking.

"I love singing. It's something I really enjoy. I want to take it another step but not like this. I don't want to have friendship problems because I picked my dream over my friends. I want them to be happy and support me as well but I don't think Taehyung sees it that way."

"Taehyung will realise what a bad friend he is by keeping this away from you but for now he just needs time to think."

"Taehyung isn't the only reason why I'm holding back on this opportunity," Baekhyun suddenly stops, making me stop and turn to him. He gives me a small smile and I realise what he means. He still likes me. He takes a small step towards me. He was much taller than me, making me suddenly feel very shy.

"Mary, I can't stop how I feel," he begins. "You know that and if I leave without you knowing this, I'll regret that for the rest of my life. I can't go until you know I love you."

I slowly look up at him in disbelief. How can he love me? There's nothing wrong with me but he's very attractive and there are lots of other girls. I'm not ugly but I'm not as pretty as some of the other girls in the school.

Those three words made me feel dizzy, but a good dizzy. It made me feel more alive but I don't know how I feel about him. Maybe I do like him but not love him and that's a big difference.

"I know that you think we've only known each other for a short time but it's been much longer than that. Ever since I saw you, I feel like you were really the one. I knew when I first saw you that I was totally in love with you but we never talked because I was too shy. When I saw you with Xiumin, I feel like I had to get rid of my feelings for you but I couldn't let you go without a chance and maybe this is my last chance. I can tell that you feel something for me but I don't think it's the same way I feel for you. My feelings for you are very strong and now I have an opportunity to pursue my dream but I don't think I'm ready to let you go."

"Baekhyun, I don't know what to say," I begin to say and he softly chuckles and gives me a sweet smile.

"I know you don't feel the same but maybe one day you will," he whispers and looks me in the eye.

"Baekhyun maybe I don't love you now but I do know I feel something for you. I wouldn't call it love but maybe in between love and like. I like having you around and if you really love singing, I think you should go and when you come back, I want you to find me. I want to still keep in contact with you. I don't want to lose someone like you," I say and I begin to blush and I hide my face in my other hand. Baekhyun laughed at my reaction and suddenly pulled me to his chest. He wrapped his free arm around me and put his chin on top of my head.

"I'm not ready to let you go just yet. Even though I've only spent little time with you, you've made me feel ways I didn't think I would feel again after such a short period of time. I think that if we had more time, I would have given you a chance," I mumble in his chest.

"Maybe there will be one soon but not right now." His draw small circles with his thumb making me feel safe. I inhale his scent and wished that time would stop and I could stay like this forever.

That's when I realised that I was slowly falling in love with Baekhyun.