The Return of Rose

Chapter 5: I Had My Reasons

I stood there frozen not knowing whether to go after him, or stay here and give him some space.

I never truly wanted to hurt anyone.

But because of my selfish actions I had hurt some people I cared about and one of those people, were Christian.

Knotting my fingers in my hair in frustration wasn't helping my situation. I needed to own up to him. He didn't deserve what I had done to him.

With the help of the staircase rail, I stand myself up and head down towards the bar.

"Excuse me, sir?"

Nothing

"Excuse me?"

Again, nothing.

Okay I was getting irritated.

"Hey!" Startled, the bartender narrowed his eyes, took a good look at me and tilted his head.

"What? Don't you see I'm busy? It's kind-"

"I didn't ask, did I?" I retort.

His expression wasn't as I expected, instead he snorted and ignored me by serving another customer.

Oh, these people were trying my patience.

Since this was a club tended for only people of the mafia, I knew he probably knew me. Probably.

I was gone for two years. I could have threatened him or done worse but that would just be my actions doing the worst. I had to think it out, use my brain, not act by my actions.

I took a calming breath.

"It's fine Lana. Just breathe." I whispered to myself.

"Great she's crazy too." I immediately opened my eyes as I heard the bartender mumble such incoherent words.

I jumped off the barstool and ran through the mobs of people drinking by the bar. I opened the gate door, or whatever it was called, and got in the back of the bar. The bartender managed to grab a pistol out of the back of his pants, but that didn't stop me from walking towards him.

"I don't know how you got into this club but you're going to get the hell out of this club right now." He ordered.

I can't tell you that he had at least an ounce of fear on his face or that he was at least shaking. Oh no. . . Instead, he had a smirk.

At this point the music was awkwardly playing in the background, people had stopped doing what they were doing a couple of minutes ago to see what the ruckus was about. And I had to admit, I probably did look like a psychopath.

This guy knows how to push my buttons.

We were both glaring at each other until a familiar voice disrupted us.

"Where's the intrud--Lana? What are you doing back there?" Christian asked, confusion clear on his face.

I threw him a fake smile and turned my attention back to the bartender.

He had a look of recognition on his face now. Before I could get a word out, he instead was the first to speak.

"I'm sorry Christian. It was my fault." His head dropped in shame. "I didn't know this was . . " he looked up once again, and this time he had fear in his eyes. ". .I didn't know this was Lana."

I wanted to smirk but it wasn't worth wasting my energy, even though it was just a two-second action.

"Can everybody go back to what you were doing before, or do you want to get involved?" I challenged.

As everybody goes back to what they were doing, I give the bartender one last glare and turn to leave.

"Christian, can we talk?"

"You don't have to ask, Ms. Lana." He walks into a room behind the bar, knowing that I would follow.

I look around the dark, but pretty decorated room. Even though the room had distracted me, it didn't stop me from telling Christian my opinion on the word, Ms.

"You've never called me that and don't start now." I sighed. "Christian I left for a reason. I didn-"

"Yeah yeah, you keep blaming yourself about the whole Francisco incident."

I stared at him, confused as to why his attitude had changed, but then Chris came to mind.

I sighed heavily; it hasn't been a day and I'm already exhausted.

I might as well just sit down. Slumping on the leather chair, I stared at Christian to find any emotion, but it was no use. It was like staring at a mannequin.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I did leave because I was forced to leave the mafia. And I don't regret leaving, not like I had a choice," I mumbled, "but it was actually good that I left. I matured, a lot. And I also had the chance to make my life seem normal." I was smiling as I said this. I thought about Calum. And I involuntarily touched my ring with my thumb.

"Then why didn't you tell me that exactly? Do you know how difficult it was to fit in the mafia? Being the new kid who was brought in, in a whim." He pauses, getting rid of the new emotions. "Why did you even come back?" He scoffed.

I frowned at his question.

"If your life is as good as you say, then you didn't come on your will, you came against your will. And I'm guessing it was because of Chris. But I should be thanking you. I became very useful to Chris and now, I make the decisions also." He smirks.

I didn't know it was going to be hard for Christian, so after hearing him out I felt bad. Though I made myself feel better after he said that he was very useful to Chris.

"I'm sorry. I never thought you would get bullied by the family." I shook my head in disappointment. Chris was supposed to keep watch of him.

He shrugged. "It's fine now. And I'm the one who should be sorry. You helped me get out of that dump, and you accepted me." I didn't miss the way he emphasized, "that."

"But now that you're back I'm returning to being your right-hand man. By the way, Chris taught me all the moves he knows, so now you can definitely trust me." He reassured me with a boyish grin.

"I'm glad then." I smiled at him.

The first sincere smile since I came here.

"You know, I don't really want to be here. Let's get the fuck out of here."