Don't - Mark Tuan Fanfic (Third Book for 'Can't')

28 - I'm A Stupid, Stubborn Brat, Remember?

"C...C..." Mark couldn't continue what he's about to say, nor could he react fast when I throw myself at him and my lips are already pressed against his. His shocked expression doesn't last long. His hands voluntarily move and go around me. I immediately take advantage of his vulnerability and tighten my hold around him, pulling myself even closer, not giving him time to think of other things aside from me. 

Although there are things - a lot of things - I want to say, but I'm afraid that if I pull away even just for a second, Mark would get his senses back and push me farther away. 

I move my lips and there's nothing more precious now than him responding. It's like all my worries of the past have gone somewhere for the meantime. I've longed for this. I've been regretting what I did and what I didn't do for Mark when I had the chance. For the times I haven't seen him, I've always been thinking of the moment when I'd be holding him like this again and he'd be his greedy self and hold me even closer. 

How I wish that we could just stay like this, erase what happened in the past and just start over. I want to forget the new threat that is about to come and the hardships that we would soon be experiencing once again. 

But, just like a dream, the moment vanishes. It seemed to me like eternity, but in reality, it was only for a few seconds. 

His hands loosen their grip around me and go to my arms, pushing me away, holding me at a distance. I couldn't help but look at him, confusion in my eyes, tears streaming down like the overflowing dam after a strong storm. "Mark?" I whimper, my lips trembling in fear as I see the expression on his face. 

"Cristina!" He furrows his brows, maybe angry, maybe sad, maybe even judging me ... I don't know. "What are you doing? What are you doing here?"

My expression automatically copies his, not knowing what to think or do. "I .. I came to get you ... to get you back ... I came to take you home." I manage to say, staggering between sobs and sniffles and whatever other sound that come out of my mouth as I continue to cry. 

The creases on his forehead deepen as he studies my eyes, then his own eyes wander, looking at my quivering lips, my red nose, my wet cheeks, then they go back to my eyes. For a short moment I thought I see something in his dark orbs, something I'm very much familiar with, one I've seen many times when we were still together. But, that was, once again, short-lived. Maybe I was just imagining it. He looks away quickly while shaking his head, bending it downwards, his hands gripping tightly my arms. "I'm ... not ... going anywhere, Cristina."

I have to stop and think, process what he just said, try and understand why he said that. "You ..." my body is now limp and numb, not feeling how his nails dig through my thin sleeves and into my skin, "...love her?"

His head stays down and his silence fills the room like black poisonous gas that's keeping me from breathing. 

"I came all the way here for nothing?" My frustration, anger, jealousy, get the best of me and I spit the words out. "I, once again, ran away from where I should be just to be with you. And this is what you give me?"

Still, he doesn't say a single word. 

I take a step back, freeing my arms from his hands. "You choose her over me? Is that it then, Mark? Is this how everything's gonna end between us? Nothing?" My voice and tears are uncontrollable. "Even after I said I love you? Even ..."

"Well, you were too late!" He finally looks at me, his eyes full of fury. "I ... I don't .. love you ... anymore." His words are soft, yet I hear them clearly. I feel pain on my chest, inside and out. Yet, there's something in the way he said it and how he turned away that make me furrow my brows and purse my lips, stopping myself from saying anything more. "I don't love you anymore, Cristina." He says it again, clearer this time. "I love Sandra now and I'm staying here with her."