Don't - Mark Tuan Fanfic (Third Book for 'Can't')

31 - Mark IX

My phone keeps on ringing, but the sound seems distant. I sit at the backseat of the taxi, on my way back to the house, my tears all dried up now, but my insides feel even emptier than before. 

How can everything turn out like this? I can't even remember how my hate towards Cristina almost three years ago turned to this undying love I have for her. Of all the people I have left and forgotten, it's her I couldn't seem to get rid of. 

I know I wasn't much of a boyfriend to the girls I played before. I think I only started being serious with Lara. Yup ... the girl who gave back my karma and more. I loved her, too, you know. But, it's different with Cristina. 

When we were together, I've always thought we would always be that way - stuck with each other. Never had I thought that a time like this would come, when reality would hit me on the head and tell me to wake up from my own delusional state and face the truth that everything has an end. Maybe it really is the end for both of us. 

When she lost her memory, when she disappeared, when she said she didn't love me anymore - during those times, I held on to some hope that things would get better in time, that we'd get back together and we'd never part ever again. 

But, now .... Now, is different. 

The hope that she'd still find her way back to me isn't that much important anymore. I'm sure that if I get down from this taxi and run back to the hotel where I left Cristina, we'd be together again, we'd live a life like I've always dreamed of. But, I can't do that, can I? I have, not just a girl waiting for me at the other end of the road, but my future family. 

It's not just about Cristina and me anymore. It's not as simple as pretending to be engaged to Sandra like in the past. It's not just trying to solve another case, or catching the culprit. It's not about ME and what I want. 

It's about someone else's future. My kid ... at that. 

It's just now that I understand the sacrifices my parents have gone through, the decisions they made. I used to think they only cared about their money and reputation, I guess I was wrong. They were all doing that for me. Even now ... my mom would do anything to get me back and make my life less miserable. I get it. 

But, I would soon be a parent just like them. I'd be making my own decisions, choosing my own path, and doing the same kind of sacrifices they've done. 

Sandra is dressed and coming out of her room when I get back to the house. "Where are you going?" 

"Mark. You're home early? Didn't you meet David?"

"Uhm ...." I go to the kitchen to get something to drink to avoid her looking at my distraught face. "Yeah. He wasn't there." I gulp down a bottle of iced cold water before turning to her who followed me in. "Where are you going?" I ask again, I don't think she has a class today. 

"Ah ... I need to go to the doctor. I wasn't feeling really well when I got up so ...."

"Are you sick?" I immediately go beside her, checking her temperature with my hand on her neck then her forehead. Suddenly, I feel guilty again of what happened last night. She ran under the rain and got soaked because of my stubbornness. What if something happens to the baby? 

"I don't know." 

Now that I'm close enough, I could see how pale she is. "Hey. I'll go with you." I tell her without hesitating. I think it's my time to step up and be responsible for what I've done. "Let's go."

It's a good thing the doctor said it's just a slight cold. She just needs a bit of rest. Since she's pregnant, she couldn't take just any kind of medicine.