Not again. I was not gonna be late again. Damnit Shawn where did you put your keys?! I frantically dive into the recesses of my mind, trying to remember when I last had them. After I came home from the pizza place with Nash and Ash last night I snuck back through my window and, ah ha. I walk over to the small basket located on top of my shelf, beside the window. "Thank God." I say allowed. I don't know why I said it. I still don't even know if I believe in God. I've been raised in a Christian home, but I've questioned my faith several times. My dad being a die hard Christian, and my mother being just your average joe believer in Christ. Maybe that's where the whole root of me thinking being gay is wrong started. Not that it matters; because I'm not gay. I board my car and leave the house.
It's been almost a week since I last talked to Cameron. It's Friday, and I've been looking forward to relaxing this weekend all week. Cameron is the one that chose to push me away the other night and I've been ignoring all of his texts and calls since. If he doesn't want me to be there for him, then I'm not gonna be there for him. I don't play this bullshit game where I'm his best friend when he's only in a good mood. He should of opened up to me that night and instead he forced me to leave. I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. Speak of the devil. I decline Cameron's call and set my phone down on the counsel.
Am I being petty? He's the one that pushed me away; why should I just be ok with that? I mean his best friend did die. I couldn't imagine what I would be like if Nash or Ash died, or even him for that matter. I'd be a complete wreck. Still, I wouldn't push anyone away afterwards. In fact I'd want to spend more time with the ones I love.
*****
I pull my phone out of my pocket after I set my tray down. I sit down by Ash, clicking my phone on. Two messages from Cameron are at the top of my notifications. My eyes look to my left at Ash, and see her quickly move her head back to looking at her tray conspicuously. "Don't worry about it." I say, picking up my taco. I take a bite, the taste of meat and cheese filling my mouth. Unlike most people, I prefer only meat and cheese on my tacos. I don't like the sour cream or lettuce, and I especially don't like the tomatoes. I don't see how anyone does. I mean I like ketchup, but that's different.
"I didn't say anything." Ashley says, innocently. Can I go back to thinking about my taco?
"It's not nice to read over people's shoulders." I say, taking another bite of food.
"Well technically I didn't. I'm sitting beside you so it's like I was reading over your arm." She smiles sweetly. "And besides I have no idea what he even said." She takes a bite of her nasty looking taco. All of those tomatoes; eww. I unlock my phone and go to my messages.
Cameron: Dudeeeeeeeeeees
12:36
Cameron: QUIT IGNORING ME!!!!
12:37
I show Ash the messages. "He's basically been saying this, in different variations, and also apologizing."
"Well maybe you should text him back." she says, matter-of-factly.
"Why? He's the one that pushed me away." I say defensively, trying to concentrate on my lunch again.
"Shawn get over yourself." Ash says, shoving my shoulder. Nash comes around from behind, and sits across from Ash.
"Hey." he says, raising his eyebrows.
"Hi baby." Ash says, extending her arms and grabbing his hands across the table. "How was construction?"
"Long. And boring." he groans, letting go of her hands and digging into his food. "What were you guys talking about?"
"About how Shawn is still ignoring Cameron." Ash says, looking over at me. Nash glares in my direction as well.
"Dude," he says with a mouth full of food, "you can't be mad at Cameron for not wanting to talk to you. He is clearly still grieving and everyone grieves differently." He swallows his food. "Honestly Shawn, I just think you're aggravated because you couldn't comfort him." I notice Ashley make eye contact with Nash. "Never mind." he says, trying to diminish what he said.
YOU ARE READING
Ambiguous (A Shameron Fanfic)
Romance"Why are you crying?" she finally asks. "I don't know." I say truthfully, moving off her shoulder and drying my tears with my hands. "Are you ashamed of yourself?" she asks me, looking at me as if I were a poorly tied knot about to fall apart. "I...
