I smile leaning my head back against the seat. My stomach is all twisted and my muscles are buzzing, but all in a good way. My face actually hurts from how long I've been holding this smile. "Are you ever gonna stop smiling?" Tessa asks. She's driving me home.
"He kissed me back." I say. I honestly don't know how to describe the warmth I feel inside. I just wanna be with Cameron right now. I wanna pull him close like we were; his body pressed up against mine. It was better than any feeling I've ever felt in my entire life.
"You're a goof you know that?" Tessa says laughing. I sit up from leaning back.
"Tessa he actually kissed me back. His lips were moving with mine and his body." My stomach does that thing again. "He grabbed me and pulled me close. I've never felt something so real. It was..." I couldn't think of a word to describe it.
"You really never have done anything with someone else have you?" she says laughing again. Truth be told I've never touched a person in a sexual way minus the encounter I've now had with Cameron. The joy I felt being that close with him was indescribable.
"I just wanna touch him." I say smiling. "I just wanna hold him. Kiss him. Suck hi-"
"Ok too much." she says laughing and turning up the radio. "You just chill until we get home." I lay back in the seat, listening to the music that comes on. I've never felt this amazing in my life. I'm gay and I'm not afraid to say it. Well maybe to my parents and friends but not to myself. I'm actually gay.
I need to call Cameron. I wonder what he's feeling? I feel my phone vibrating and pull it out of my pocket. It's Nash. I answer it, the anger I've felt towards him isn't here currently. Nothing but happiness is here right now.
"Shawn?!" he says fast.
"Hi Nash." I say, still smiling to myself.
"What did you do to Cameron?" he asks sounding scared.
"What do you mean?" the smile leaving my face. My happiness high has now been ruined.
"He left a couple of minutes ago crying. He wouldn't even look at me or Ash." I feel my heart start to beat. "He looked really hurt." Nash says.
"I didn't do anything." I say, my heart beating fast.
"Well all we know is he went to find you and 20 minutes later he comes back crying and leaves." Why was he crying? Think Shawn, come up with a response.
"Well why'd you guys even invite him in the first place?" I say, turning the conversation over into him. It's a good question too.
"Well you haven't been talking to me or Ash lately but we figured you'd wanna talk to him." I do. I wanna talk to him all the time. "So that maybe you would eventually talk to us."
"Well I'm sure he's fine." I say, not knowing if I'm lying. Maybe I should call him.
"Can we talk about-"
"I've gotta go Nash." I say, hanging up. I find Cameron's name in my contacts and click on it.
"What are you doing Shawn?" Tess asks me.
"I'm calling Cameron. Nash said he left the dance crying and wouldn't even talk to them."
"Maybe you scared him." she says looking over at me. The street light near my house came into view.
"Scared him?" my heart beating faster.
"Well yah Shawn. Assuming that Cameron is gay he's clearly very far in the closet. How would you have felt if your best friend would have kissed you a year ago saying he was gay?" she says putting the situation into perspective. Just because I've had time to learn and accept who I am doesn't mean Cameron's done the same. A year ago I would've puked if I guy kissed me and told me he was gay. Not from disgust but from pure fear.
YOU ARE READING
Ambiguous (A Shameron Fanfic)
Romance"Why are you crying?" she finally asks. "I don't know." I say truthfully, moving off her shoulder and drying my tears with my hands. "Are you ashamed of yourself?" she asks me, looking at me as if I were a poorly tied knot about to fall apart. "I...
