blue ✓

thirty seven

authors note; a quick note to my readers, I've finished planning out this entire story and sadly we only have like three-four chapters left after this one. I was planning on expanding this story to 60 chapters, but this ending is much better than my original, and we will probably have a sequel if you're all up for that.

hope you enjoy this chapter.

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harry

When my graduation day rolled around, I found myself still mourning the best friend I had lost, and that left an empty feeling inside my chest that never seemed to go away–even now. The memorial slideshow for him forced tears to surface again, and the empty seat next to me made my bones cold. It was still so vivid in my mind and I always found myself thinking back to that bitter memory, to that feeling inside my stomach when I wrapped my hand over the rolled up paper that I called my diploma–my entire school life ending with a piece of paper. It felt wrong to me then, and it still felt wrong now that I was living my life without Sean. I was enjoying the sun in the morning under the warmth of my blanket, and I was going to college every day, learning new things and living life.

A cruel reality that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

It was late noon when the sun has faded and the skies were a crimson blue. I was in my shed, smoking a joint as I painted a portrait of a woman's figure when my sister barged through the door. Her green eyes always matched mine in the evening time, a little tired and dull in colour. Gemma frowns, inhaling sharply as she notices the smoking lingers from my lips.

"Thought mom told you not to smoke in here,"

I ignore her. "What do you want?"

"Paul is here, him and mom want to talk to you." Gemma replies, she softens her gaze as she stares ay me, but it only makes the frown etched on my brows linger longer.

I turn my head back to the canvas, dipping the brush in more paint. "I'm busy."

Gemma groans. "Fucking hell, Harry." I can hear her hand slam into the door with force, a loud slap echoing through the shed walls. "They're getting married."

My stomach drops with the brush in my hands, I still left the smoke in my mouth after I inhaled but I pulled the joint from my lips, keeping my back to Gemma as my heart thumped loudly. It felt unreal to me in that second, like one of those annoying dreams you have once and a while and then you always think about it during quiet moments. My blood buzzed with the anxiety inside my stomach, my bones reached out for me to hit something and although I ached to–I concealed my anger.

I put the end of the lite joint out in the cup of paint filled water, swallowing the rising vile in my throat.

"They're getting married?"

"Yes," Gemma replies. "They're getting married."

I finally turn around, analysing my sisters features. Her blond hair was tucked back, a light mauve tone under her eyes from the lack of sleep she had from working so much, her lip was bitten into from nerves as she stared me down.

"That's," I clear my throat, finding my emotions as I scan through my head with a deep inhale. "That's okay."

"Okay?"