Sherlock One-Shots and Preferences

Sherlock - A Feeling Thats Okay To Feel

For Rockynut2014

Sherlock was the one reason Y/N daily did what she did. It was hard for be in public, go on the bus or even walk down the street sometimes. All she could think about was what other people thought. She couldn't help that her anxiety controlled her like it did, over the years it had built up and never gone away though people say it would. Some people told her that she just wanted attention which made it worse. It made her think that she was the only one who felt this way. Maybe she was sick, maybe she was crazy. Maybe, just maybe she should stay inside forever and then she won't hear the voice in the back of her mind telling her what other people think of her.

But, as it seems Sherlock would never let that happen, being one of his only close friends, and living in the flat straight above the noisy detective she could never stay in her flat for more then a day. Always doing silly stunts or needing help on a case Sherlock would somehow drag Y/N along with him. Having learned to somewhat control her anxiety around Sherlock, she hid it. The one thing that helped her stay sane around Sherlock was the thought of him, and only him. He was her safe place. They had been together so long that a feeling of love had developed on her side of the friendship, and that's what kept her quiet, for fear of Sherlock looking down upon her with disgust much like others for 'wanting attention'.

What a lot may think anxiety is, its not. It can born of self consciousness, it eats away at everything the person thinks is bad about themselves and makes those feelings worse until it interrupts the daily life of the person. Or it could simply be built up from fear and past experiences. But, anyway anxiety is built up, its real. Its so real that it makes Y/N's heart beat so fast that she feels she'll have a heart attack, her stomach churn like she'll throw up, her palms and face heat up like she's in a sauna, her eyes water because she can't get enough oxygen, erratically breathing from her tightening chest.

When Y/N found herself trying to keep up with the detective that was rapidly sprinting through the streets of London expecting her to keep up, she couldn't help but break off from his side, getting lost in the sea of people flowing through the streets right at rush hour. This was Y/N's fear. Even if it was a city she knew well, she couldn't focus where she was, all she could focus on was the looks she got from strangers passing by, bumping into her as she had minimal space to even take a step without bumping into someone and having them curse at her, and her heart beating in overdrive. As the space around her narrowed even more, and waves of grim faces only continued to approach her, she felt the anxiety bubbling up in her. Starting in the stomach, it moved up, tightening her chest. She was too far gone now. No one could stop the vicious attack that would happen inside Y/N's body.

Any logical thoughts were now ignored as Y/N pushed through the crowd, gasping for a breath she couldn't catch. All she could think about was what others were thinking about her, if they were judging her, swearing at her because she's stupid or ugly.

Having found an alley, Y/N dived into it, holding the dirty brick walls on either side of her as she panted heavily trying to catch her breath.

Sherlock had noticed Y/N's disappearance and suddenly dove back into rush hour to try and find her. He knew that she didn't like crowds but he thought that most likely everyone hated crowds so it was normal. What was not not normal was Sherlock finding himself following the frantic panting of a woman into an alley, observing the woman to be Y/N. He quickly ran over to her expecting the worse, especially since they were on a case where the unsub used poisoned to murder his victim. Since the poison effected the respiratory tract and the heart Sherlocks worst fears started to come into play as he dove to his knees beside her.

"Y/N! Y/N were you poisoned?!" he tilted her head up with his other hand firmly gripping her shoulder in case she were to loose consciousness. When she only continued panting and shaking her head, tears beginning to slide down her cheeks he tried to deduce what was wrong. He took into consideration the symptoms, erratic behaviour, much like a panic attack but things weren't adding up. It all lead to anxiety. But to Sherlock she never seemed anxious. She would do anything and everything with him without hesitation. Sherlocks eyes widened as things came together in his mind, like fitting in one last puzzle piece. Y/N had anxiety, and right now she was having a panic attack.

By the time Sherlock had figured it out Y/N had managed to catch her breath, but was now weeping softly to herself, that panic attack having been the worst she's ever had, her body visibly trembling from aftershock. Sherlock didn't know much about comforting, but from observing John he had adapted to hugging, and slowly wrapped his arms around Y/N, bringing her into a loose hug. She was brought into his chest, his coat being open since it wasn't too cold that night, just a nice chilled breeze. His sweet cologne immediately calmed her slightly, his radiating warmth added to calming her down. "Its okay to be scared. Its okay to be anxious as well. Its okay to be you." Sherlock said softly to her in a quiet tone as he gently stroked her hair.

To Y/N this meant everything. The person she tried to be most perfect for wanted her to be herself, and no one else. To her it meant that she would be believed for what she had, and accepted. She softly sobbed into Sherlock at his words, wrapping her arms around him. Sherlock had something to add though, he tilted her chin up so their eyes met and wiped away her tears with his hands, smiling.

"I love you the way you are." Sherlock said softly and pressed a light kiss to her forehead.