Wednesday
Wednesday was the day Y/N had reserved for relaxation. After she had gotten back last night she texted the most persistent people in her life, her best friend and her mother, and told them she would not be answering the phone all day. After the stress of the last few days she needed time to relax, time to think, and time to spend with just her and her thoughts. No best friends just walking in, no Mothers to upset or disappoint, just a whole day of just her and the cat. She spent the first few hours of her day cuddled up in bed with a good book and her Puddin snuggled in right beside her, followed by an easy lunch, a few hours in front of the computer, a pizza from her favorite place that Isaac seemed to hate, and now a bath.
As Y/N sank into the warm water filling the tub Puddin made her way into the bathroom snuggling into the floor beside the bath, she hadn't left Y/N's side all day; she suspected motives of moral support but who know when it comes to cats. After soaking for a few moments she pulled the bath table (a gift from Isaac after dropping one too many books in the tub) closer to her taking a sip from her wine glass and picking up her book, pulling out it's makeshift marker, an old folded up piece of paper. She knew exactly what was written on it, she had read it so many times over the years she could almost recite it from memory though it had been a while since she read it. She tried to get into her book, one of her favorite reads, but she kept looking to the table, eyes glued to the folded up paper sitting there begging her to read it once again. She knew she shouldn't, that it would only lead to bad memories and resentment but she vaguely remembered a therapist once mention something about forgiveness, and drudging up past feelings seemed like a good place to start; you can't forgive if you don't remember what you felt in the first place. Sure she knew she was angry and a little jealous and she felt betrayed but she didn't know how much of that was directed towards her sister and how much of it was towards herself. So she set down her book and picked up the old folded paper. She took another long sip of her wine and unfolded it, beginning to read the words for the millionth time.
My Dearest Twin,
We will be long gone before you read this, we are headed to the airport and by the time you get back from the lake we'll be settled somewhere far away from here, somewhere we can't hurt you anymore. I'm sorry for everything that is about to happen and I hope that one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me, to forgive us. It was never our intention to hurt you, we both love you more than words can express, but sometimes these things just happen. I won't go into detail but please know that you never did anything to cause this, we did this of our on volition and we knew you were going to end up hurt at the end of it all; but we kept it up anyway. We fell in love out of the blue and neither of us had the heart to tell you, neither of us wanted to hurt you so we didn't say anything. We decided it would be best to leave when you were away because I could never face you, I could never tell you that I'm in love with your boyfriend and we'll be married before the weekend is over and that I knew I was hurting you but couldn't bring myself to push him away; I could never say any of that to your face so I'm being a coward and giving you this letter instead. I love him and I love you but I want to be happy and I think I'll only ever be happy with him. So I hope that one day you will forgive me for being so selfish but I will understand if you never do.
With all the love in the world,
Your Twin
P.S. I hope we will be together again someday but if we aren't, think of this as our last goodbye, filled with all the hugs and kisses of our childhood together. If you ever need me I'll only be a phone call away.
We love you and we're sorry.
She felt the tears coming to her eyes as she set the paper back on the table and sank deeper into the bath, until the water was covering her ears. She stayed like that in the tub a long time, until the water was completely cold, when she moved to sit up in the cold bath she looked at the letter sitting open on the table. She stepped out of the bath, wrapped up in her robe she took the wine and the letter down to the living room where she read through it again, setting it beside her on the couch, staring at it as she drank when she got an idea reading over a line again.
