Why should I feel discouraged
Why should the shadows come
Why should my heart feel lonely
And long for heaven and home
When Jesus is my portion
A constant friend is he
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know he watches over me
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know he watches me
"We are gathered here one last time to lay to rest brother Ira James Hightower. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust..." the Pastor said after Ira's cousin sang.
I wiped my eyes and slipped my glasses back on as we stood at the cemetery. I walked into his motel room and he was just laying there all pale and still with an empty pill bottle in his hand. Who would have thought that the last time I saw him would actually be the last time. We laughed so much that day and when I left he said he loved me. I didn't think anything of it, I just said it back and left. He was my best friend and now he's gone.
Everyone took turns throwing flowers on the casket and leaving. I after I tossed the rose I stayed because I wasn't ready to leave yet. I was crying so much that I didn't notice his mother standing there.
"You must be Toni. He talked about you a lot."
"I'm sure it was all jokes about my height."
"You're right it was." She chuckled. "But he said you were a good friend."
"I just can't believe this."
"Neither can I but I can't say I blame him. He was a very prideful young man."
"Look about the money, you can keep it."
"I appreciate that, but I was thinking we could donate it to charity."
"I like that idea."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kenny
"Claire? What are you doing here?" I asked opening the door for her.
"I came to get my niece. She told me what happened, what's wrong with you?"
"I know you don't have kids yet but when they get disrespectful and catch you on a bad day you just might slap the hell out of yours too."
"You need some counseling. All of you should go to family counseling including Toni. I know you're not over what happened and it's showing."
"Whatever, Kira isn't going anywhere. She's gonna stay her spoiled ass right in her room!" I said loudly so Kira could hear me from upstairs. Before she could say something Toni walk in. Claire hugged her, "Are you okay?" She asked.
"I'm fine. Are you two okay?" Toni inquired looking between my sister and I. Claire rolled her eyes at me and I huffed. "Come on guys you're family. Life is too short for you guys to be fighting over something so small. Why can't you just make up?"
"Don't you think you're the last person that should be talking about family?" I asked.
"Kenny!" Claire yelled.
"I was just-"
"You should just stay out of our business. The only thing you need to be trying to fix is your relationship with our children." I said annoyed. She shook her head and stormed upstairs as my sister glared at me. "What?"
"Does the asshole in you have an off button?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toni
I knocked on Kira's door, "Go away!" She yelled.
"It's me." I said and there was silence. She finally opened the door and my heart sunk when I saw her face. It was swollen and red.
"See what he did to me? That's why I'm leaving."
"Kira, your father loves you-"
"Look at my face!" She protested in the midst of throwing clothes in a suitcase. I stopped her and we sat in her bed.
"Okay, he was wrong for taking his anger out on you. He's just having a hard time with juggling his feelings and he lashed out. That doesn't mean he stopped loving you."
"He has a funny way of showing it."
"How about we watch a movie in my room? I could use the company."
She thought for a minute and shrugged, "Yeah I'll get Karsyn."
I went to my room and changed into some sweats. By the time I finished the girls came in ready to hang out.
"Okay what are we watching?" I asked them.
"Moana!" Karsyn squealed.
"Not again." Kira groans.
"Kira you can pick the next one."
"Fine."
I got in bed and Karsyn snuggled into me. Kira put the movie in and laid at the bottom of the bed before pressing play.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kenny
"Claire what do you want me to do?" I asked interrupting the lecture she was giving me.
"I want you to get some help." She said.
"I don't need help. Toni and I are over and I'm dealing with it just fine."
"By being an asshole? By mistreating your kids and their mother? That's not a good way of dealing with it Kenny."
"Whose side are you on?"
"See? This is exactly what I'm talking about. It's not about sides."
"Okay fine. What can I do to get you to let this go?"
"Family counseling. I know someone and she's the best of the best."
"This isn't going to work."
"You don't know that. I'll set up the appointment for tomorrow at 2pm. Clear your schedule."
"Fine. When this turns out to be a bust, I don't want to hear about this anymore."
"Whatever. You need start being nicer to Toni, she's trying and she still loves you. She won't say it but I can see it in her eyes. I know you still love her you're just too blinded by anger to admit it."
"That's where you're wrong. I don't love her. I'm in love with Valerie."
"That's like saying Beyoncé is a good actress. As much as you want to believe it, you know it's a damn lie."
"I'm telling Beyoncé on you." I laughed.
"Remember what I said. Bye jackass."
"Bye smurf."
I'm not in love with Toni anymore and everyone needs to understand that. All the pain she's caused me, she deserves all of this anger and hatred I'm dishing out. I already know this therapy thing is going to be a fail, but it may help her and Trent. However, our relationship is unrepairable.
