Bad Boy's Cupid

C.22- Last Goodbye

Chapter 22- Last Goodbye

This is it.

The last time I would ever see my best friend's handsome face, the last time I'll ever get a glimpse of his peaceful face as he lay there in his coffin looking handsome with the coat and tie he's wearing. The tie, was from me. Violet. It was the best gift he could ever receive he said.

As I arrived at the memorial park I could see my friends and family sitting in the first few rows. This is the first time I got out of the house since he died, I don't even know if I could handle this. I can't let him go.

I was clutching the letter that Ashton wrote. I didn't have the guts to open it. I never had the chance to, or I was just too afraid to do so. I'm afraid that if I open this letter I might lose it. I'm seriously just one step away from a mental breakdown.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the life that has been yet again finished by our Lord, thus let us not forget that our dearest Ashton is in a better place beside our Lord Almighty."

I was seated beside Monique and Lucas, right now I don't give a damn about Lucas. I cried silently as the Priest continued on to the prayers and then finally, he asked everyone to take one last look at his lifeless body.

Everyone got up and piled into a line as they paid their last respects to Ashton.

Except for me.

I couldn't bear seeing Ashton like this. So, lifeless. I wore the shades that he gave me because he broke my last ones when we went to the beach last summer.

And then I can't hold it in anymore.

I cried.

I sobbed.

Everyone looked at me, but I didn't bother. All I know is that Ashton my best friend in the world, my partner in crime, my first real love, my everything is dead.

"Violet?"

I looked up to see my mum, looking worried and slightly looking stressed. Ever since Ash died she's been keeping an eye on me, they all are. Because they're worried.

I might kill myself.

Or

Live a miserable life living with cats in a small house in the middle of nowhere, isolated from anything and anyone.

Maybe.

"Wanna go and see Ash one last time?" Mum asked.

I nodded and slowly and painfully made my way to his coffin, where he laid so lifeless.

I remember the first time I met Ashton, we were so happy that day, seeing him so happy and all goofy. And now, he just... I can't explain the pain and heartache that I'am feeling right now.

Out of all the people, why him? I just don't understand why he has to leave. We promised each other to grow old together with our own families, to graduate, to go to our Senior Prom. I can't believe he's actually gone.

I hugged my mum tight and just cried in her arms as they lowered Ashton's body to the ground, I can hear the faint cries of my friends, the loud sobs of Emily, Ashton's mother.

~~

After the funeral I decided to stand by at the Memorial Park for a few more hours, mum insisted on staying with me. But I told her she needed to rest so Lucas volunteered instead. I nodded and sat in front of Ashton's tombstone.

Ashton Auxence Michaux

Beloved Son and Bestfriend

January 13 ,1995 ~ May 01, 2014

"Hey Ash, I miss you so much, I want you to know that I am very thankful to be your best friend, you were a brother to me, and I just couldn't imagine my life without you, but I hope you can be my light at my darkest times, even now that you're gone. I know that you will always watch over me."

~~

My hands are shaking, I'm trying to be strong and open the letter that Ashton wrote for me. I've never thought about this letter until now, after the funeral, I decided to man up and read the letter.

Lucas has been giving me worried glances every time he thinks I wasn't paying attention, I know he's worried, everyone is.

With shaky hands I opened the letter, getting the box of tissues ready beside me as I sat on the edge of my bed.

Dearest Violet,

Please know that no matter what happens; I will always look after you. Do you remember the first time we got separated in the mall? Because you wanted to go to the Barbie side and I wanted to go look at all those cool cars?

An hour later I went back to look for you, and there you were sitting in the corner, looking adorable as ever with those puffy eyes and red nose. I smiled at how you seemed so lost and upset. And when you looked up you saw me and smiled.

I could never forget that smile on your face, even if we were just 9. Well, this time its kind of like this, except I won't come back and hug you, while I comfort you with soft murmurs. I won't be coming back for your rescue. I won't see you wipe those tears of your face, and say that everything will be alright as long as I am here.

Vi, I want you to know that I love you so much, and if I were given a chance I would never leave, I would want to be alive and have my own family, see you make more mistakes, and cry more while I try to fix them. I want to be there so we could plan our pranks on our friends and families, like this one time that we wrote a letter to them saying that we're going to run away together and we ended up staying in Hawaii for a few days until they found out where we were hiding.

I won't go anywhere. Right now, I might be six feet under the ground, but I will always be there watching over you. Just promise me you'll be visiting me often, yeah? Because if you don't, I'll haunt you! :P Kidding :D

I'll miss our workouts during Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I'll miss the way you try to run around to catch me but always end up breathing heavily 2 minutes later panting so goddamn hard that sometimes we think you were going to pass out. And most of all I'll miss you.

Please tell my family how much I love them, and that I'm sorry that I left so early, I wanted to live longer. I wish I did. But if this is the Lord's will then so be it. Promise me one thing; that even when I'm gone you'll still continue to live your life to the fullest, to enjoy the company of your loved ones while you still can.

My cancer taught me a valuable lesson, which is that life is too short. So live while you laugh, cry when you've had enough and forgive the ones you love.

You'll be alright Vi, I know it. You are the strongest and toughest person I know. Show them that you can!

I love you so much and I'll wait for you my dear sweet Violet.

This isn't goodbye. This is just the beginning.

All my love,
Ashton (Mr. Sexy ;)

~~~~