Tris Conquers Her Fear

Returning the Favor

Tris POV

I wrap my hand around Tobias's dick as he groans. I tried to make it seem like I was confident about this, but in reality I'm nervous as hell.

I've only done this once before, so I can't say that I'm really that comfortable with it yet. I don't want to let Tobias down after he gave me such an amazing orgasm. In a way, I feel pressured to do something really great, and I'm scared it won't be good.

He doesn't seem to notice how I really feel about this, and I'm glad he doesn't. I lean down and press my lips to his.

Slowly, I move my hand up and down on him. I don't realize that I've been overthinking so much that I am not really into the kiss.

Tobias pushes his hand into my hair and turns his head away. I pull back, confused. "What's wrong, Tris?"

"What do you mean?"

He raises his eyebrows, knowing that I am definitely thinking about something.

I don't meet his eyes. "Well, you gave me such an incredible orgasm that was better than ever before, so I'm just afraid that I won't be good enough or better than the last time and that I won't make you feel anywhere near as good as the way you made me feel."

Once again, I find the words just tumbling out of my mouth. It still amazes me that with just a simple action Tobias can make me tell him anything. I look up at him and see that he's concerned.

I shake my head, angry that I'm making this about me and not him. He's the one who should feel good and not have to worry about caring for me. I apologize immediately after.

"Sorry. Just stupid insecurities. Don't worry about it."

I begin to move my hand again and lean down to kiss his neck.

"Woah, woah, woah," he stops me.

He takes my hand off of him, forcing me to look at him.

"Yeah, we're not just going to forget about that," he says.

"Yes, we can. I'm not trying to make this about me."

He sighs. "Tris, I don't want you to be thinking about all of that and forcing yourself to do it for my pleasure. You're supposed to feel good about doing it, and if you don't feel that way then I don't want it."

"But I do want it. I do feel good about doing it." I frown at the fact that he thinks I don't like doing it.

"If you have insecurities about it, then you're not going to enjoy it. And I don't want that."

I bite my lip. "There were so many things wrong with what you said. Don't ever apologize for having those kinds of thoughts. They are not just stupid insecurities. This is a fear you're trying to overcome, and it will happen. It's okay to feel that way."

I try to turn my head and look away, but his hand reaches up and gently pulls my chin back.

"And don't keep score or compare what I do to what you do to me. I don't want you to feel bad if it's what you call 'not as good' as what I did or what you did previously."

He smiles. "I can reassure you that whatever you do to me will be amazing, and I promise that it will all make me feel good."

I nod. "Okay." What he said does make me feel better. He doesn't care about how good it is. Instead, he is probably just thankful that I'm willing to do it, especially after all this time that I have been too afraid to. "Thank you."

"Of course." He pulls me down to kiss him, and I am able to relax and really focus on kissing him.

I wonder if this kiss feels so good because I'm not thinking about all of the things I'm nervous or scared about. I know Tobias must be happy because he smiles into the kiss. I moan softly, which makes him smile wider.