Tris Conquers Her Fear

I Want Him

Tris POV

I go to rinse out my mouth with some mouthwash and fix my hair. I decide to let it down because we're probably just going to talk for a little bit.

My cheeks are flushed, and I feel a slightly exhausted. It's been a long night.

I return to the bedroom and lie down still naked on my side. Tobias turns to face me and just smiles. We don't touch each other. "What a night, huh?"

"Yeah," I reply. For some reason, my mind recalls the promise ring before all the stuff we just did. I put my hand out to look at the ring again. "This really is so beautiful."

I feel so warm inside - cared about and loved.

He takes my hand to tilt it his way so that he can see it. "I'm glad you like it. I can't imagine what all the girls are going to say to you."

I laugh. "They are going to freak out. Too much for me to handle. What about the guys?"

"I think they'll be happy. Maybe even worried that they should be doing something like that."

I nod. I want to tell him how I feel about him since I couldn't find the words at the Pire, but I'm not as skilled at that as Tobias.

I blush a little and feel like I have to try. "I want to say something." I look up at him, and he holds my gaze.

"Over the past few months, I feel like I've become someone new - someone who is strong and confident and fearless - and I can't help but think that you are the reason for that."

He grins and finally rests a hand on my waist. I feel reassured, as always. "You have been there at my highs and lows, always celebrating my successes and comforting me when I'm down. You went from being my instructor to being my lover and finally allowed yourself to be vulnerable and show me all of you."

I cup the side of his face with my hand and look at him. "You have loved me unconditionally and passionately, and I've never felt a more incredible feeling in the whole world. And I am so thankful for the man you are and how you treat me like I'm the only girl in the world. It makes me feel so special."

I lean in to kiss him softly and then pull away slightly. "I love you, Tobias."

Tobias is smiling wide, and he kisses me again -longer. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer before he finally says, "I love you too, Tris."

"And I meant everything that I said. I want to be yours forever."

I smile. "Well, good, because I'm too comfortable with you to leave me now."

"You are?"

"Yeah, and I don't think there's anyone else I would have rather overcome this fear with either." I don't think anyone is as patient and understanding as he is.

"Well, this has been a pretty fun fear to overcome," he says, smiling playfully.

"Definitely." I trace my fingers over the flames that wrap around his neck. I feel a pull in my stomach - a longing, a need for a deeper connection. I want to tell him that I'm ready for the next step. I think I am, but I'm not really sure.

I can't feel Tobias's eyes watching me, and he has to know that I'm thinking about something. He chooses his words carefully when he finally speaks. "How comfortable are you with the step we're on?"

An easy question. I nod to myself. "I'm good with it. There's no denying that I love when you do it to me. And I guess I'm pretty confident when I do it to you."

I lie back flat, staring at the ceiling. Tobias leans down to kiss my shoulder. He gives me a moment to say something more, but I don't.

"So where does that leave us?" he asks quietly.