I don't think Désirée understands that I like watching her play soccer. Now every time I mention going to her game she brings up that I was mad at her because she played for another team for drafts (making me wait two hours alone with her family in almost complete silence) I'm not happy that I had to wait another hour because I thought that was time we were going to spend together rather than how it was. I think I should try to explain that to her but I don't want to piss her off anymore. I understand most of this was my fault but I don't even see what I'm doing wrong anymore so I just want to kind of be left alone by her now because she makes me upset. I love her she's supposed to be my best friend and it doesn't show at all. I just want it to be how it was before she started acting like this. Also before my game I just felt like crawling into a hole and never coming out. I don't even know why I've just been super sad recently and I don't want to bother people with it because they have their own issues. I'm not helping anyone with this stupid shit going on so I'm going to try and keep to myself because no one really cares. I try so hard to help people and give them advice even though I'm not the smartest with social stuff but at least I try my best to be there for them. I try and console people but when I ask for someone to listen I get "Same." Or "Me too" and it really frustrated me and makes me feel like they don't really care about my issues they just want information about my life to talk about. I'm done.
AN HOUR LATER.
Why put on your story "someone say hi seriously I want to talk" then ignore the person. "Oh yeah maybe tomorrow" I don't understand why I don't need to know it bothers me. I know how it would feel if no one responded, it would suck. So I did and I disappointed myself. I'm very done.
