i'm such a fucking fuck up. my moms boyfriends kid annoy the shit out of me and i try to keep to myself around them because i dont want to be annoying or rude. so i don't want to pay for their food because i'm just a teenager and i don't have a job just yet so i have no income if my own and i hate asking for money and shit so i try and save. i wanted to order some takeout so she asked me to buy them food and because i don't have much i didn't want to do she got so losses at me because she thinks i don't like them and sometimes i'll be honest i don't. i try not to be rude and to be nice to them and it's hard sometimes because things are so hard and fuck. so i'm just frustrated the she always thinks that everything i do is because i don't like them. i'm a fucking moody teenager that's why. just about every time it can be, 'it's because you don't like them' like fuck. no i don't but i'm trying my fucking best. On top of all of that i've been sick and my heads been aching but whenever i get mad at myself i hit myself in the head as hard as i can because i'm too much of a coward to do anything else to myself and now my head hurts even more because i'm fucking stupid.
