July 4 2018

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So I'm feeling lonely as all fucking hell and I just don't believe that I deserve good things. I ruin everything. I'm too clingy, I push people away, I'm rude, I'm quiet, I'm too loud, I bail on people and I'm too scared. There are some really nice people in my life that make me smile everyday but I ruin things with them. I'm shocked that they haven't wanted to leave me like everyone else before has. I just want someone there for me that is here for me to cry with and to hug but I mean that's a lot to ask for so oh well. I'm too shy to make friends and I'm too lonely to be happy. If anyone feels like talking to me or needs anything at any time just let me know I'm a pretty good listener as much as I rant and talk.

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