alrighty. so i really want to have a relationship with a guy, because i've never had a boyfriend and yeah i don't really like anyone right now (maybe someone a little bit) and he has said before he likes me and asked me out. but i said no as gently as i could because i had only met once and it wasn't even very personal and because he's two years older than me. i kind of like him and he seems to be interested in me again and i know i got too attached too fast because i'm just scared. i'm scared he'll never want to talk to me. i'm scared of what my friends would think. i'm scared to talk to him. i'm scared of being rejected. i'm scared he's just playing around with me. i'm scared of being vulnerable in front of people and i'm scared he won really like who i am. i just keep making excuses of why i can't or why i need to keep waiting but it's because i'm scared. i just kind of suck you know?
