February 4 2018

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so my parents have been separated since i was 3 months old so this has always been what i'm used to and is never want to change it. But i've never b en the person to talk to my dad about serious things or tell him when i don't like something because any time i spend with my dad i don't want him to be upset or unhappy with me because i don't get as much time with him and i don't want him to think i'm a shitty kid and then he won't want me. recently him and his wife had a baby and i love her yeah i do but i do think that she's more important than me and it just makes me want to bring up my issues less so they don't worry about me. but today my dad told me that we need to talk more and i can't be like that anymore because he worries a lot about me because of my sister and expected me to tell him if i has an issue then since it was the time and i'm thinking no you're already not happy with me let's not do that. so i just feel like i'm just extra work for them and i don't want to disappoint my dad ever i always worry about that and you know i'm just a crying mess right now and i want to go home because this house still doesn't fee like my home. no where does and it sucks.

hope anyone reading this is doing better than me right now and i'm always here for you guys.

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