a dear friend made me realize how not okay i am. i'm not asking for help i don't even want to admit to it because i know they worry about me and i don't want them to anymore it makes me feel bad. when i get like this especially i feel terrible because i get down in myself and i don't want to bother people then i end up bothering people and saying that i don't want to talk about it and bother people. i just want to disappear right now and not worry people or bother with my stupid fucking problems. im just fucking worthless. i want to be able to make people happy without hating myself for not having the nice qualities they have and don't like but yeah i'll boost you up but i'll still be sad but who cares? it's okay. i'm okay. i'm sorry. i shouldn't be sorry this is my angry book of sad shit.
