I get that we know each other too well just to stop talking but this isn't the same, I get that I'm making a big deal over something that shouldn't be an issue but it kinda bothers me a little. We used to actually talk but now it's just sending pictures back and fourth and I really only do it because I don't want to be rude. It's not the same anymore and I get why but it fucking sucks for me but oh well. It doesn't matter if it bothers me because you don't want to loose me as a friend and that's important. Let's make you happy and hopefully somehow I'll be too. I wish I could actually tell you this but I never will because truly deep down I don't want to lose you and I want a chance though I seem to have already ruined it because I'm too shy. I wasn't ready to meet you so I feel like that's what made it her over me. Or at least helped anyways. I really do hope you're happy with her but a small part of me wishes that you would have been happy with me and that I would have been enough for someone. But then again, oh well :) I'll be fine it doesn't matter. This is my fault for not being outgoing enough. I should have just sucked it up and stopped being so godamn shy. I hate myself for it but why should I tell you they and make you feel bad. I really don't mean to make you feel bad but that's just how its going to be I guess. And the worst thing that you did is that you made me think that you actually liked me. You made me happy and you made me feel special, as if I mattered. I guess I just overthink things and get attached too quickly. This is all my fault and I'm making it worse but honestly I would rather talk about it and have you hate me than not say anything and continue to be upset and no one know. Anyways I'm really sorry I don't want you to feel bad but I feel like you deserve to know how I feel.
I don't like how things are now. It's not the same and I miss how you used to talk to me but I get why you can't now. This sucks for me and I feel like I'm putting in all the effort because I don't want to lose you and I don't want to be rude either. You'll never know this but I really don't want to keep talking to you it just reminds me about how things were and how happy I was like that and now seeing your name pop up on my phone makes me frown. I hate how things are now I truly do. And the whole "I know you too well just to let you leave" seems like a lie. We don't know each other well we've only ever texted and you could easily live without me. I don't want to lose you honestly but it fucking hurts to see you and know that I'm not good enough for you and that I'm second best. It's probably because I'm too shy right? I took too long. Im not what you want I'm not good enough for anyone. It hurts that you would say all those nice things about me and out of nowhere "oh well there's some other girl so now we're just going to be friends and you get to deal with it" so that sucks man. I wish I could tell you all this but I'd ruin everything if I did :)
Alright so I'm upset because hes is acting like nothing is wrong and I really want to talk to him about something or like what's going on and I know that it's stupid that I want to talk about it. Like things aren't the same, we barley talk at all and I put in most of the effort and start most conversations. The worst thing he's done is he made me feel special and that is what hurts the most. And the whole "I know you too well just to let you leave" seems like a lie. We don't know each other well we've only ever texted and he could easily live without me. I don't want to lose him honestly but it fucking hurts to see him and know that I'm not good enough for him and that I'm second best. I'm really sorry I talk about him all the time but it's really pissing me off and I can't tell him anything
It's not going to work. I was hoping that things wouldn't work out for them and he'd come back and we'd be back to usual but we hardly talk and I'm the one who always makes an effort. I understand that he has some other girl that's better than me but we're supposed to still be friends because HE will be happy just being friends and guess what? I'm not happy like this. I hate that he made me think he liked me and made me happy because now it's gone and now I wish I never met him. We're such different people to begin with and now he has someone who's probably prettier and more like him and who isn't so shy but I'm still a person too right? Is she prettier than me? Do you know? I just want to stop talking to him because I'm not happy about this crap and I want to forget about him.
I hate you. I wish I never met you and I wish I could forget about all the sweet fucking things you said to me and how happy you made me. I can't believe how quickly I meant nothing to you and now fast we drifted apart. I never want to fucking talk to you again but I want you to know what you did. I wasn't okay and I still don't think I am but ofuckingwell right. Your happiness is more important haha. I hope you are happy with her truly but there's a part of me that wishes that you really meant all the things you said to me and that you would actually put effort into talking to me even as a friend like you fucking said asshole. I'll admit I hated how things changed and I cried a lot because I was used to you being nice and sweet to me and like nothing you went to hardly fucking talking to me. I'm glad I deleted you on everything and had it not been for Peter I never would have spoken to you again and I wish he stayed the fuck out of it. I wish I dropped your ass like you did to me. I wish that I never met you! I wish that I never fucking got to know you because it would have been so much easier to hate you if you just turned me down right away for the stupid ugly bitch that I am but no you fucking led me on and made me think you actually fucking liked me. I hate you. I hate you so much. I wish I could tell you how much I fucking hate you but I'm a better person than that. I also fucking hope you two break up and you try to talk to me again then realize that I deleted you and I never want to talk to you again. Guess what though? If you tried I'd probably fall all over again and forgive your stupid fucking face. I hope she screws your over and you get to feel exactly how I feel. And I really hope you try and talk to me so I can kindly tell you to go fuck your self. I hate you. I wish I never met you
