The Loneliness of Insecurities

"Trip Back Home"

I was on the plane headed to my mom and dad, I took a red eye flight out to Cheyenne to my mom and dad. I knew a simple phone call would have done the job, but I wanted to see them and talk to them as well. It was time to finally put the final nail in the coffin with our distrained relationship. I got off the plane and went to pick up my rental, the only thing they had was a Chevy Cruze. It was not my first choice but since I'm only here for a day it will do. I put my luggage in the car and went straight to the hotel I was staying at for the night. It was close to the airport, so I could easily catch my flight back in the morning. After checking in and changing from my traveling clothes, I got dressed and drove across town to my parents' house. I pulled into the driveway and got out the car, I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. A few seconds later my mom opened the door and look like she had seen a ghost.

"James, what are you doing here?" She said hugging me.

"I came to talk to you guys...... can I come in?"

"Of course, you can." She said stepping aside and letting me inside the house. "Your dad isn't here tho, when we got back he had to report to the base for departure."

"Oh, when will he be back?" I said standing in the living room. She motioned for me to have a seat, so I did.

"It's no telling right now, 6 months or longer is all I know." She sat down and looked at me. "I take it that you're here for the package that was delivered."

"That's a part of it and I also wanted it to be just us to clear the air but since dad isn't here then I guess that can wait."

"Your dad must have known you was going to want answers, so he wrote you a letter that I was going to mail out today but since you're here now it saves me a trip." She got up and went into another section of the house and came back with an envelope in her hand. "You can read it now or later it's up to you."

"I will read it later but tell me about this inheritance and trust funds yall gave to me." I said putting the envelope in my jacket pocket.

"Your grandparents leave you a lumpsum of money that was set aside for you from their insurance policies which was over $200,000. Your father and I matched it when we found about it, over the course of the years the interest matured on it and that's what you received. We did it to secure a future for you and despite everything that has transpired between us, we never touched it. It was originally supposed to be released when your turned 18 but we were concerned about you not going to college, so we pushed it back until you turned 21. When we learned of your graduation early from college and started your own business, we decided that it was time for you to have it. It was declared on your last birthday that you would receive the whole amount instead of annuity payments over the next 5 years."

"So, yall was loaded this entre time and didn't tell nobody, I'm sure the military don't pay that kind of money." I said laughing.

"No, they don't but when you learn to manage your money and also have some parents who had trust funds for their kids it helps out a lot. You know my parents and Joe's parents both come from money and when they passed we took control of their businesses. I'm proud to admit that they left us all well off."

"So, why did we live in this little ass house when we could have been balling out."

"Because our parents thought us the value of a dollar and that's why we were very conservative with the money we had. We still went to work every day and still live a normal life and those were the things we taught you and you sister."

"If you just said you believed in the value of your family roots then why did yall put me out when I told yall that I was gay? If memory served me correct grams and paps always believed in love no matter what. When I told them what happened, and they came to pick me up from school, they showered me in nothing but love and they told me that yall are idiots for doing me like that." I said holding back tears.