It's Not Over

Chapter 4

Nick's POV

"Come on don't make me run"
She finally stopped and I caught up to her.
"What were you doing charging out of Liv's office like that?"
"Nothing."
"I'm not about to leave"
She knew I wasn't bluffing.
"I want to help you, but I can't do..."
"I don't need your help Nick!"
We both went silent.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean"
"I get it Amanda, let's just go back upstairs."
She sighed and reluctantly chose to follow me back.

We were met by many glances as we walked back to the squad room.
"What do we have on this Marcello guy?" I asked trying to keep everyone's mind on something other than what just happened.
"Not much" Fin admitted. "He migrated here from Mexico back in the late 90s. He's kept himself on the down low until now."
"You know anything about him Rollins? Rollins?"
She snapped back to life.
"Hm?"
"Marcello, know anything about him?"
She paused for a minute.
"No, nothing."
"You sure?"
Something about her reaction gave the impression she knew a lot more than she let on.
"Yes I'm sure, I didn't know the guy that well."
"Alright" Liv said " let's see if we can find this Darren guy, see if he can point us in the right direction."

"Whatcha thinking about?" I asked playfully, but was dead serious on the inside.
"Nothing in particular, my mind's a mess right now."
"You want me to drop you off at home? You don't need to be here right now."
She was going to protest, but didn't.
"Come on, let's go."

Amanda's POV

Approximately five minutes after he dropped me off it all sunk in. How the hell am I gonna get out of this one? Despite being complete assholes, the one thing Jeff's family was is loyal. His mom hated my guts and now his brother no doubt wants me dead and he's not one to give up. He's dangerous. More so than Jeff and Caleb. And he has more power than both of them combined. I got his brother killed and he will see to I get punished, but that's not the worst. Nick is the one who pulled the trigger.

Nick's POV

I finally got home pushing 10 o'clock. I found Amanda on lying on the sofa crying. At first I thought she was asleep, but she acknowledged me.
"This isn't gonna end well" she muttered.
I knew what she was talking about and couldn't disagree.
"Don't worry about that right now"
She sat up after I said that.
"You do realize what he does to people who challenge him? Look at his record!"
"There's nothing we can do about it right now."
"What are we gonna do? Just sit here and wait to be killed!?"
"What do you want me to do?!"
I immediately regretted saying that with so much force.
"I'm sorry" she said.
"Look I know.." I started
She left and went to bed locking the door behind her."
"Dammit" I muttered.

Amanda's POV

"You're dead" I said as I stared into Jeff's eyes.
"I am. But that doesn't change the rules. You know better than to raise your voice, but you still did didn't you? You deserve to be punished."
"I know" I cried.
"Do you though?"
He pushed me to the ground and held my chin up.
"You haven't been a good girl have you? You're pathetic."
"You're not real"
"Worthless"
"Shut up!"
He punched me in the face.
"Don't ever talk to a man like that."
He started walking away.
"Just remember your place Amanda"

I woke up after he said that. The room was pitch black and I was all alone. How badly did I screw up last night? I wondered. I didn't want to go back to sleep so I decided to take a shower because why not.
I turned the water on and stared at my arms.
"Remember your place Amanda"
His words echoed my mind as I traced the scars up and down my arms. Some of them were from burns, others were just random cuts he made. Some I made myself.
I let a teardrop fall from my face. All these years I've been trying to help women in my shoes and now I couldn't even help myself. I always preached that nobody deserved abuse, but I'm really second guessing that.
I turned off the water. I no longer wanted to shower. I was exhausted. It's not the tiredness any kind of sleep could fix. Bottling everything up was starting to get to me. I was tired of seeing him everywhere. Hearing his voice in every conversation. Most of all, I hated looking at myself and being reminded of what he did.
I'll just get a drink I thought and decided that was a good idea. I wasn't going to be able to sleep anytime soon.
As I stepped outside the room I felt that horrible feeling of fear. I could feel tears developing in my eyes.

Nick's POV

It was 4 am when she walked out. I had been up since the argument. She was on the verge on tears as she looked at me in desperation.
"Come here"
I tried to hug her but she pushed me off.
"Remember your place" she muttered to herself.
She looked me in the eyes
"I shouldn't of yelled" she said "I should be punished for it"
"What are you talking about?"
"He was right. I deserved it! Everything!"
She slid down the wall onto the the floor.
"Look I'm right here it was just a nightmare" I told her assuming she'd just woken up from one and wasn't thinking straight.
"No this isn't about any dream Nick. I haven't...I haven't been good. I've lied, yelled. Jeff was right I deserved to be punished why haven't you just hit me already?!"
"I'm not..."
"Just get it over with"
She closed her eyes and waited. I simpley brushed the hair out of her face. She started crying and buried her head in her knees. I sat down beside her on the floor and brought her head into my lap. I didn't say anything, just listened to her sob silently.

Amanda's POV

Once again I was with Jeff. He was doing what he does best, tormenting me.
"Look at me bitch!" He yelled grabbing my hair.
"I...I " I tried.
He slammed my head into the cabinet.
"Shut up!"
He threw me onto the sofa and began taking off his belt. He climbed on top me and I began pleading with him.
"Shut up whore you and I both know you deserve this."
He kissed my lips and I yanked my head away. He slapped me.
"Don't you ever disrespect me like that!"
He finished and brushed my hair back then whispered in my ear.
"You are nothing Amanda Rollins. And you know it."

Nick's POV

She woke up with a deep gasp for air, her eyes wide like saucers.
"It's okay, you're okay" I reassured her.
She looked around making sure nothing was different. She then looked at me with desperation.
"Talk to me Amanda"
I held her face in my hands.
"I can..I can't stop seeing him. Jeff, he's everywhere."
"He's gone, he's dead he won't hurt you anymore."
"He won't, but that won't stop others. Including you."