It's Not Over

Chapter 33

Amanda's POV

"He'll never love you now. Nobody will you disgusting whore."
I just wanted to wake up from this awful dream, but couldn't. I wish I could say I don't remember much, but I remembered everything, and this guy was right. I am disgusting. There is no way Nick could ever see me the same way again, not after what he saw.
"Get out of head!" I begged.
"They didn't want you in Atlanta, now they definitely won't want you here. Stupid bitch can't even take care of yourself. What kind of detective are you? You're a degenerate, disappointment, useless."
At this point all I could think about is every stupid thing I ever did. Gambling while on the job, every time I've snapped at Nick, the time Liv almost fired me. I knew she didn't trust me, she never will, nobody will.
"Why can't I just wake up?" I pleaded with myself.
I sat in the dark room closing my eyes and covering my face. I cried and prayed to god I could escape this hell.

Nick's POV

"Good news, you get discharged today."
Liv came into my hospital room holding the discharge papers.
"Is she doing any better?" I asked regarding Amanda.
"Nick it's been almost two weeks. The chances of her waking up..."
"Are slim, I know."
"We're the closest things she has to family and we have to start thinking about what she wants."
I went to bathroom and got dressed, still talking to Liv through the closed door.
"What, just give up on her? Let her die?"
"I'm not saying we need to do anything now, we don't have authority to make that decision. But we're gonna have to start thinking about calling her mom up here."
I was fully dressed and opened the bathroom door.
"You know damn well then decision her mom's gonna make. This is on me Liv, I can't let her die because of my poor decisions."

Amanda's POV

The dark room I was in suddenly started turning brighter. It was like a light burning down on me. Wait, it is a light. A fluorescent light.
I woke up in the hospital in excruciating pain. My head was pounding and I felt like the room was spinning. I could hear Olivia and Nick arguing down the hallway. Naturally I thought. I listened to their voices echo down the hall, growing closer and closer. I had to take my mind off this pain so I just listened.
"You're not being rational Nick, as hard as it is you have to start thinking about the right thing for her."
"Whatever"
Before I could react he was in the room.
"Amanda? You're awake?"
Just than Liv walked into the room. Dammit I thought. I really just wanted to be alone and I definitely didn't want to see Nick, not after what he's seen.
"You're awake, thank god I thought we were gonna lose you." Liv exclaimed.
I looked at Nick.
"You, how, I thought he killed you."
"He tried, but clearly he's not a good shot."
The memories of that day came back. I was disgusted with myself there's no doubt Nick was too after what he saw that guy do. God he'll never look at me the same.
"I'm tired" I lied. "I think I'll go back to sleep."
In reality I didn't want anyone here. I could not look him in the eyes after all that happened.
Even after the doctors checked me over to make sure I was alright, I still couldn't sleep. I felt so dirty. Like a dirty that could never get clean. I wanted to shower, I needed to shower. I pulled the IV out along with the wires and stumbled to the bathroom.
The hot water burned like hell. Every single drop stung. Soon I found myself sinking to the floor. I scrubbed and scrubbed, but couldn't get clean. I turned the hotness up until it was so hot it burned me. Soon everything around me was blurry. I looked at my body and realized I was bleeding from all that scrubbing. I attempted to get up but immediately fell back down. Just like that, the world went black.

Nick's POV

"You're lucky you found her. Two minutes later she would've drowned."
The sight of Amanda laying face down in the shower unconscious haunted my mind.
"It appears she had another seizure. Which isn't uncommon after head injuries. She should be awake soon."
The doctor left and I was now alone. I sat in the chair beside the bed.

"What happened?"
The doctor was right, she did wake up not long after.
"I was actually going to ask you the same thing. Why did you get out of bed? You could've hurt yourself."
"I had to shower."
There was something off about her. She wouldn't look at me in fact she did everything she could to not make eye contact.
"Look, you had a seizure, I found you unconscious in the shower."
"You should've left me there" she muttered under her breath.
I sighed as my phone rang. I went out in the hallway to take it.
"Amaro" I answered.
"We got one of them." Liv said on the other end of the line.
"I'll be right down there."
"No you're not supposed to be working. Just stay at the hospital and make sure absolutely no one goes into Amanda's room."
"Of course"
"I mean nobody."
"Liv what are you talking about?"
"Someone from the station is part of this. We don't know who or if there's more than one. Just don't leave the hospital."
"Alright."

"That was Liv"
I sat back down beside the bed. She didn't bother looking at me.
"They got one of the guys."
This peaked her interest.
"Who?"
"I don't know. She didn't give names or any details."
"Do you at least know if it was the guy who..."
"No, it isn't."
She wiped a tear from her face.
"I'm sorry Amanda. For all of this."
"You're not the one who should be apologizing. I'm the one who got everyone into this mess. You all now have targets on your asses and it's all because of me. I wish you would've just left everything alone."
"Amanda" I said softly
"Forget it. I just need to sleep. You should leave"
She turned her back to me and drifted off to sleep. It wouldn't be long till she'd wake up screaming.