It's Not Over

Chapter 20

Amanda's POV

I hated myself for yelling at Nick. After everything he's done this is how I treat him. So I just left him alone. I didn't know what else to do so I took a shower to clear my mind.
In the shower I quickly broke down. I slid down the side and sat on the shower floor crying.
"I've ruined every relationship with every person in my life in just 10 months." I told myself.
I got out of the shower and took the blade from a razor out. I held it my wrist and cried. I closed my eyes before digging it into my skin. No, not yet. I threw the blade in the trash and put clothes on.
"Hey, why is yo tour wrist bleeding?"
I ignored the question and ran up and hugged him.
"I'm so sorry!" I cried.
"Sorry? What are you sorry for?"
"Everything!"

Nick's POV

I was confused needless to say.
"I couldn't do it, not without apologizing."
Now I knew what she was saying.
"You know I should be bringing you to a hospital right now?"
"I can't go back to the hospital, please." She begged
"Sit down for a second."
I pulled her off me and let her sit down.
"Just promise me you won't hurt yourself. Okay?"
She closed her eyes.
"Is it weird that out of everything that happened, it's Jeff I'm most scared of."
"You spent a lot of time with him."
"I loved him. He did love me, and when things were good between us it was great. I never in my life thought he'd do what he did. Not in a million years."
"And you think that's going to happen again."
She nodded.
"His voice is still in my head. It's like he's still here controlling everything I do."
"You don't need to listen to him anymore. He can't control you."
She cried and put her head to my chest. Apollo walked into the room. I patted the sofa and he jumped up. Soon enough she was sound asleep.

Amanda's POV

The warmth of Apollo and Nick's fingers running through my hair made everything so calm. I wasn't thinking about anything for a change. That was until I fell asleep.
"God you're so beautiful" Jeff told me.
I smiled. He could be so sweet. He brushed my hair back and kissed my cheek. We stood there, face to face almost touching.
"I love you" he said.
A tear fell down my cheek. Just like that a flip switched. He hit me on the cheek.
"Do you love me!?" He yelled.
"Yes, I love you."
He hit me again than dug his knee into my stomach. I slouched over crying. Why does he do this? He punched me again causing me to lose consciousness.
I woke up this time in a pitch black room. I was in the cellar at Caleb's.
"No!" I cried realizing I was strapped to a bed.
The light from outside shone in and a figure walked down. At first I couldn't make out the figure, but as he go closer I realized who it was.

Nick's POV

She slept soundly for a good four hours, then the nightmares kicked in. She was screaming, punching, kicking. Finally she woke up desperately trying to catch her breath.
"Calm down, it was just a dream." I explained.
"I can't go back to sleep. I can't relive that!"
"It's okay you don't need to. I can't sleep either."
She sat up and looked at me.
"What is it?"
"Nothing" she quickly shook her head went to the other side of the sofa.
We sat in silence for awhile until she finally spoke.
"I know you think I'm crazy" she began.
"I don't think that at all"
"You will after this. I did love Jeff, he was the sweetest man when he wanted to be. I just, I couldn't keep up with what he wanted. And sometimes I think if I just would've told him I loved him more or did the laundry before he got home. Maybe, maybe none of this would've happened."
"Amanda look at me. There was nothing you could've done that would've changed him."
She didn't argue. She was too tired to. She fell asleep without muttering another word. This time on the opposite side of the sofa as me. Unfortunately it wasn't long till she started screaming.
"No! Stop it Jeff!" she screamed.
"Hey wake up, wake up"
I shook her until she finally woke up. As soon as she saw me she grabbed me and clung for dear life.
"Just a dream. Just a dream." She repeated to herself.
She soon started crying.
"God, I'm so sorry." She cried.
"Shh, there's nothing to be sorry for."
"I'm sorry that I'm here and got into this predicament. I should've been able to take care of myself."
"Stop being sorry okay, there's nothing wrong with needing help."
She shrugged.
"I wouldn't of needed help if I would've just been a little better to him. It could've been love."
"That wasn't love Amanda. He beat you, he raped you."
"But he wouldn't of had to if I just..."
"Just what? Nothing would've stopped him it's just who he was."
She didn't argue, just laid down. We stayed there on the sofa all night till my alarm went off in the morning.