For As Long As It Takes (boyxboy) (Editing)

Trying To Adjust

(May contain offensive language. Please understand that this is not my personal view but shows the lack of knowledge that these boys have on the LGBTQA world.)

Logan

Sunday morning lacrosse practice. Today was the day. The day I came out to the team. I figured I should tell them first. If I wanted it to get out, this was the place to start.

Guys gossiped a lot, probably in my opinion, more than girls or at least just as much. We didn't really sit around the house in our aprons talking about who's dating who, but school came up when we were bored.

After I called out that we were done for the day we headed in to take showers. I decided not to join them in the showers today. Might be a little awkward afterwards. I waited in the main area for them to get dressed. I stood in the middle of them and the quieted. I usually took this time to tell them what time the next game was.

"Ok. Obviously we wouldn't normally have practice on Sunday's, but you know there's a game tomorrow. Good job today, I know we're going to win. They're a shitty team anyway. So Varsity game tomorrow, practice on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Varsity and JV game Friday, practice Saturday." I sighed.

It was now or never. I opened my mouth, then closed it. But never seems better. "You're free to go enjoy your lazy Sunday."

Everybody said they're bye's and Josh sent me a look and didn't move from his spot. "Shit," I muttered and groaned, "Wait. Everybody wait just a sec." They turned around before they walked through the door to see what else I could possibly have to say. Tony looked at me confused as well.

"We uh - I'm not - shit." "You're not quitting are you," I heard someone ask. "No, no. Hell no. I'm -" I rubbed my face with both hands. I can do this. "I'm gay."

There was no snickering, no talking, nothing. You could actually hear the leaky shower dripping. They just stared at me with open mouths. I didn't even want to look at Tony next to me.

"And? So what," Josh spoke up, tying his shoe, acting casual. I definitely owed him. "I just thought - I thought I should tell you." "Ok? Well that's cool with me. I have a gay cousin," he lied, "You don't act gay though." I snorted, "How are gay people supposed to act? I'm still Logan." "Yeah, and you're still the best player on our team so.. I don't think anybody really cares."

I looked around and most of them nodded, the rest were still in shock. "Yeah man, that's cool with me. You're still my bro. Plus CDM Lacrosse needs you," Nick reached out his hand. I let out a breath of relief and we pounded our fists and did our team handshake. He smiled and took a step back. Everybody started talking and asking me questions and laughing. 'Do you have a boyfriend or something?' 'Yeah, do you have a crush on any of us?'

They were all cool with it. Well, not Tony. He was turned around and packing up his things. I didn't let it show, but that hurt. It hurt more than if all these guys turned out to be homophobes. They eventually all left, patting me on the back saying everything was cool, or that they had a gay family member or friend themselves.

Soon it was just me and Tony.

He closed his locker when everyone was gone. He turned around and stared at me, angrily. "Well, isn't this just a joyous day. When the fuck were you going to tell me this Logan? You're gay? You're really gay and never told me? How long have we been friends? Since we were like six? You've been lying to me the whole time I've known you -"

"No Tony, relax I didn't realize I was gay until last summer." He was quiet for a while. "We were supposed to be best friends -" "Tony my dad was just declared dead, I was a little occupied! I didn't have the time to tell you. When exactly do you suggest I should've told you? At his funeral, on his birthday, on his and my mom's wedding anniversary, or on the first day of school, the first day he's never dropped me off?"