For As Long As It Takes (boyxboy) (Editing)

What Are Real Bestfriends For?

Longer chapter today!

P.S. I love how the new wattpad app gives me a little notification when a story in my library is updated!

Logan

For the rest of the week I'd avoided Tony successfully...

But then again maybe he was avoiding me. Tony wasn't easy to get away from, and wasn't easy to ignore.

At first, I figured, maybe if I just gave him some space and time to cool off, that he'd see he's being ridiculous. But obviously he's serious about this.

I think I just hurt his ego really. Why does he have to pay attention to my feelings now? We never talk about how we feel. I don't care how gay I am, I'm not some chick and I don't need to act like one. But that's beside the point.

The point being, that I can't tell my best bro that I like him.

Maybe I even love with him, I don't know. That's the problem; I just don't even know how I feel right now. I'm still trying to process the fact that I genuinely like guys in that way.

I do know I can't stop sneaking glances at him when he's not looking, or thinking about him when he's not around. Not that that's not normal, because we legit hang out everyday. I mean, we probably go through withdrawals when were away too long. Well, I know I do. We even go on vacation together.

I know I'm to blame, with my acting so depressed lately; it's not weird that he's acting like a normal worried friend. He's always been a good friend, maybe we don't share feelings but he's always been there for me.

It's just - it's so hard. It's so hard to sit and watch him stick up for me, and defend me against, and protect me from, homophobes. Not only that but even though it took a while, he was completely cool me being gay. So hard to sit and watch him act like some Disney prince fucking charming and I'm the damsel in goddamn distress.

It'd be easier if he hated me I think. Then I wouldn't have to try and unsuccessfully hide how depressed I am over him. But I couldn't take it if he was mad at me, not just because I might possibly love him, but because a guy needs his best bro.

Maybe I should just tell him a name of some random name. I don't know why I didn't think of it when I accidentally let it slip there was a guy. Probably because he would've known I was lying.

I've never been able to hide anything from Tony. Which is why going with "I can't tell you", is probably my best option.

The drives to school were quiet and weird. Tony wasn't by my side, that's why. He usually comes to my house in the morning and picks me up. He only lives about a block down from me. But he didn't show up that next day.

I waited for as long as I could but I had to get in my car and get going before I was late. I guess this was his sign for "I'm still mad and you're still a jackass". Which of course, I could hear him saying in my head.

Sure, the drives were weird, but since he keeps all of his books in my locker... the morning routines were worse. We didn't even say anything to each other just put our things away and walked to class. In the one class we had together we made small talk.

But things weren't the same.

On Friday, I'd had enough and was ready to confront him. But when I turned the corner and seen him with his face scrunched up in frustration, which I found cute, trying to stuff his jacket into the small locker, I lost all my confidence.

I walked up slowly, and he turned and saw me. I took off my jacket and tried to stuff it in next to his. After a minute of struggling, he snatched it and stuffed it in effortlessly. I mumbled a, "Thanks", and handed him the book I knew he needed. We had first period together. He nodded his head, and mumbled back, "Thanks".