Unchained

Chapter 25

"You are sure that he will be alright here?" I ask bit worried.

"Y/N, you need to focus on your life. You can't revolve everything around him. Your sister needs you, you need you."

"You do not get it, do you?" My expression fades and is replaced with a blank face.

"Get what?" Evan asked intrigued.

"This is all a game we got sucked into. Like a game of Chess. We need to do everything to protect the King."

"Y/N... Don't get me wrong. I agree by protecting him at all costs but you need to protect and look after yourself as well."

"The Queen protects the King."

He starts smiling widely. "Oh, I wonder who you heard that from?"

I gave a small smile as i remembered how he taught me Chess.

"Evan...?"

"Yeah?"

"How is she?"

He froze, he knew exactly who I was talking about.

"Weak. Very weak. Doctor is worried."
He says in a whisper almost.

"She will be fine. She is a tough little girl like her dad." Gives him a small soft punch.

He didn't react, i knew i should not have brought it up but i knew her and i did care about her.

We walked in silence to the entrance of the hospital. "I will see if i can't mingle you back but... Y/N... if it is a no. Drop it. I will not hear anything more of it."

I took in a deep breath and gave a nod.

"This is going to be difficult, isn't it?"

"Very. I believe we can but i believe we could mess him up further. Both are 50/50 and we cannot leave him in this state. It is either we win or we loose. No more in the middle."

I gave a nod. "This newbie Paddams-"

"Y/N.." he says in a stern tone.

"Okay fine, Newbie... why didn't you tell me that they got him a new one?"

"Because you already knew he was going to. I just didn't tell you who and when."

"Evan-"

"Stop. He is not yours."

With that i dropped the subject. Of course i knew he was not mine but i cannot help wanting him to be...

He unlocks the car and on our way home we were silent until...

"I never stopped loving you..."

"Evan don't... we talked about this."

"I know. Just thought you should know."

"Evan look, i do care about you so don't get me wrong...but admit it you and I would never have worked."

"So is that what you told yourself when you rejected my proposal."

"Evan stop."

"No. I don't get it. Here I am. The man that was always fucking there for you. Helped pay for your studies, helped you get an apartment. Help you get a job. Gave you food when you had none. Gave you my bed when you didn't have anywhere to go. Helped you with everything! Showing you kindness and love yet I was thrown to the side and you choose someone who is possessed."

"EVAN STOP!"

"I gave you everything! Everything! Why don't you love me? Did you ever? Come on, tell me you never loved me. Tell me how stupid I was thinking i would ever have life with you. Come on! Make me feel like the worthless piece of shit I am. Did you love me or not?"

I kept quiet realizing he stopped the car.

"ANSWER ME!"

"YES!"

He goes quiet with shocked eyes and a gaping mouth.

"I did but i got scared. I was scared. I didn't want to believe that someone out there actually wanted me and when you proposed i freaked. I don't know how it feels to be wanted - how it feels to be needed. I was young, i didn't understand it."

I was shaking, my anxiety levels rising.

"Then why him?"

"I don't know..."

"Do you love him?"

"I do..."

His eyes fill with tears and all I can do is sit and watch him. What must i say? I did love the man at one point of my life.

"Do you love me? Even a bit?"

"Evan don't..."

"Just yes or no."

"You know that i do."

He gives a light nod, his eyes fixed on me as i gave him a weak smile.

We finally drove on but the tension was there. We both stayed silent for the rest of the trip, there was nothing more to say.

When we got to my apartment he got out and opened my door. I gave him a small 'Thank you' as he gave a light nod.

I walked towards the entrance of my apartment building when i was spun around and met by Evan's lips on mine.

I was about to smack him when i just gave in. I felt needed and i felt wanted and i craved that more than anything at the moment. So instead of smacking him and telling him to piss off or any of that nonsense...

I returned the kiss. Both of us trying to pull one another even more closer even though we were already chest to chest.

It was rushed, it was desire and mostly lust.

Though i knew i would feel guilty when this was all over. I needed this. I needed him. I needed to feel loved and i needed my frustration and lonesome out.

He picked me up, somehow we got into my apartment and gave into the night's desire. Both giving the other one what they want.

I won't say i am proud of it but i cannot say i regret it.

For that moment of giving in to one another... it seemed like the whole world just disappeared for that moment.

No words were shared between the two of us. None was needed. We just laid there both naked.

And nobody can know about this... nobody.