The Dreaming: Dark Star (Book 5)

Blue Jay

         

I don't know how I knew it was him, but instantly I recognised him. He was wearing a leather vest that had seen better days and his long grey hair was pulled back in a pony tail that draped over his shoulder. He wore a red handkerchief bandana and long earrings sparkled on both sides of his wrinkled face, giving him the aura of an aged fairy godmother. He had a definite feminine aspect I was prepared for.

The childish smile he was beaming down at me was far too familiar for my tastes, so I looked away, hoping he hadn't seen the stricken look of panic that consumed me.

Did this man really think I was his wife!? The very idea of this was absolutely ridiculous.

"Blue Jay!" Lyle yelled up. "We made it!"

Blue Jay waved down at us, his arthritic fingers forced into a claw-like wave. He waved at everyone, but his eyes stayed focused on me, and I could feel them piercing me like two rockets. My belly was on fire and my eyes were watering, my cheeks flushed.

"Welcome, welcome," Blue Jay yelled down at us. "Come on up!" he pointed a little further down the beach, where I assumed there was an easier passage up from teh beach.

We headed over there and I was relieved to see a perfectly intact stone staircase that was very easy to traverse. After the ordeals with the bridge, I wasn't in the mood to do any difficult climbing.

I waited and let Lyle and all the kids go first. I needed a moment to collect myself. But Nicole demanded to come behind me.

I don't even remember climbing those stairs, to be honest, for I spent the entire time, composing my face into a mask of neutrality that could not betray my true emotions—terror. It had been so long that I'd been near a man who might be capable of showing any interest in me and the very idea was preposterous.

"Preposterous!" I said out loud, more than once.

"What?" Nicole asked from behind me.

"Preposterous!" I said louder, turning to her and scanning the waves crashing on the beach below us. The water was a creamy blue-green that looked inviting.

"What's preposterous?" Nicole asked.

"It's something that is totally crazy and unrealistic," I explained.

"But..." she hesitated. "What is crazy and unrealistic?"

"This!" I exclaimed, my tone angry at her incomprehension.

She clammed up and I was immediately sorry. I should encourage her questions, not yell at her when she asked them.

"Look, Nicole," I said, softening my tone, "I'm just not in my comfort zone—so don't mind me right now. When I'm not in my comfort zone, I get cranky and mean, like you get quiet and shy. You understood?"

She nodded. She understood my moods from first-hand experience.

"Good girl," I added, and patted her on the head, which made her shine with pride in such a way as melted my heart and brought tears to my eyes—she was just so utterly starved of love. I turned back to the task at hand and swallowed my tears and set my mask straight by focusing on what a lovely spring day it was, and ignoring my imminent meeting with Blue Jay. By the time I got to the top of the stairs, my blood pressure was under control and I felt perfectly capable.

Blue Jay was standing amidst the children and what appeared to be a big group of 'the locals' for lack of a better word, who had come out to greet us. I felt, for the first time, a great sense of relief—both fro the warm welcome (everyone was smiling and happy) and for the fact that Blue Jay seemed occupied with Lyle and wasn't undressing me with his eyes anymore.