Boyfriend + Brother || Shawn Mendes

☆Chapter 33☆

I'm in love with him.

He never leaves my mind, he's always there; mentally if not physically. It's just incomprehensible. He's my one stable force, my one stability in a world filled with chaos and I so desperately need that in my life. I'm in love with him and I can't believe I've only just realised it.

This feeling is so strange; it stretches throughout my whole body. It's overwhelming, yet makes me feel complete. It has no bound nor length nor depth; it's just absolute. It feels as though I'm in a dangerous fire, yet I'm completely safe at the same time. It feels as though someone's given me peace. It feels as though my heart is dancing around my chest; and a hole, I was never aware was there, has been filled. I feel so light like I'm on top of the world yet my heart is constricting and it feels as if there's no oxygen in my lungs.

It's strange - frightening even - how you can go from someone being a complete stranger to then being completely infatuated by them and wondering how it ever was that you were able to live without them because you sure as hell couldn't imagine being without them now. I know we're only young, and most people would consider me to be foolish and naïve, but it's true when I say that I like him more than I have ever liked myself, as cheesy as it sounds.

I wake to soft sheets, and morning light trickling in through the blinds. Shedding myself of the remaining glimpses of a dream, my eyes are still shut as I soak in the warmth of my covers before letting my green eyes see the sun's rays... I feel different, I feel as though I am seeing everything in a new light but in some ways, I feel exactly the same as last night but I have a slight headache but who cares, I can't stop smiling.

I move my head to the side and peep over to the other side of the bed and there asleep is a very much naked Shawn. his eyes are closed and he has him an arm wrapped underneath his pillow and the other laying down by his side. He looks so peaceful, so calm.

I stroke my fingers over his shoulder and make my way down his arm. His light tanned skin is smooth and soft and when I touch him, it makes last night even more surreal. I want to cuddle him so badly but I wouldn't want to wake him.

keeping the sheets wrapped around my chest I search the floor for something to chuck on. a hoddie? my jacket? I notice shawns shirt carelessly lying in a heap along with his jeans and I reach over and pull the shirt over my head. It's oversized and baggy but its perfect because it ends just above my knees and it smells of him.

I swing my legs over the side of the bed and tread lightly over to the ensuite bathroom. Gleaming granite counter tops, walnut framed mirrors, jacuzzi tub, walk-in shower room with over-sized shower head, fluffy towels neatly arranged, tile floor with under-floor heating, fluffy bath mat, wicker laundry basket. This guy Ethan is rich beyond belief.

I look at my reflection in the mirror and not to my horror I didn't look half as bad as I thought I did. My makeup has smudged around my eyes but most of it had evaporated from the long night. I turn the tap on splash some cold water on my face. I take a face cloth and rub my eyes cleaning my skin of the grime I caked on last night.

Once  I am done I decide to take a quick hot shower. The water pours down, it drips by my side, as my mind fades into dullness and everything is a foggy illusion. The sensation of the steamy water calms me as my mind swirls, and it's like I'm standing under an everlasting waterfall. Ever so beautiful, but it can never last.

After my shower, I was finished and so I slump back into the plush bed and I lay there, reliving the events of last night over and over again. I am lost in my thoughts when I feel someone roll over and kiss me on the cheek. When I look over I see a Shawn with pink rosy cheeks and fluffy messy hair gazing at me.