Demigods Texting

Gay or European?

LiLi: There! Right there! Look at tan well tended skin. Look at the killer shape he's in. Look at that slightly stubbly chin. Oh please, he's gay. Totally gay!

Percy: I'm not about to celebrate every trait could indicate a perfectly straight expetriate. That guy's not gay. I say not gay.

Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, and Hazel: That is the elephant in the room. Well, is it relevant to assume. That a man who wears perfume is automatically, radically fae?

Frank: But look at his coiffed and crispy locks

LiLi: But look at his silk translucent socks

Percy: There's the eternal paradox look what we're seein'

Piper: What are we seein?

Percy: Is he gay?

LiLi: Of course he's gay!

Percy: Or European?

Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, and Hazel: Ohhhhh! Gay or European? It's hard to guarantee. Is he gay or European?

Jason: Well, hey, don't look at me!

Piper: You see they bring their boys up different
In those charming foreign ports
They play peculiar sports

Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, and Hazel: In shiny shirts and tiny shorts. Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks. They both say things like "Ciao, Bella" While they kiss you on both cheeks

LiLi: Oh, please

Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, and Hazel: Gay or European? So many shades of gray

Jason: Depending on the time of day the French go either way

Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, and Hazel: Is he gay or European, or--?

Annabeth: There, right there!
Look at that condescending smirk
Seen it on every guy at work
That is a metro, hetero jerk
That guy's not gay, I say, no way

Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, and Hazel: That is the elephant in the room
Well is it relevant to presume
That a hottie in that costume

Piper: Is automatically, radically

Percy: Ironically, chronically

Annabeth: Certainly, flirtingly

Jason: Genetically, medically

Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, and Hazel: Gay, offically gay Swishily gay, gay, gay, gay...
Dang it! Gay or European?

Percy: So stylish and relaxed

Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, and Hazel: Is he gay or European?

Percy: I think his chest is waxed

Piper:  But they bring their boys up different there
It's culturally diverse
It's not a fashion curse

Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, and Hazel: If he wears a kilt or bears a purse
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code

Hazel: Yeah, his accent is hypnotic
But his shoes are pointy toed

Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, and Hazel: Huh
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray

Reyna: But if he turns out straight
I'm free at eight on Saturday

Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, and Hazel: Is he gay or European?
Gay or European?
Gay or Euro--

Frank: Wait a minute
Give me a chance to crack this guy
I have an idea I'd like to try

Percy: The floor is yours

Frank: So, Mr Argitakos
This alleged affair with Ms. Wyndham has been going on for...?

Nico: Two years

Frank: And your first name again is...?

Nico: Nikos

Frank: And your boyfriend's name is...?

Nico: Carlos
I-I, sorry!
I misunderstand!
You say "boyfriend"
I thought you say "best friend"
Carlos is my best friend

Leo: You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That's it, I no cover for you no more!
Peoples, I have a big announcement
This man is gay AND European

Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, Frank, and Hazel: Woah!

Leo: And neither is disgrace
You gotta stop your bein'
A completely closet case
It's me, not her he's seein'
No matter what he say
I swear he never, ever, ever swing the other way
You are so gay, you big parfait
You flaming one man cabaret

Nico: I'm straight!

Leo: You were not yesterday
So if I may, I'm proud to say
He's gay

Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, Frank, and Hazel: And European!

Leo: He's gay!

Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, Leo, and Hazel: And European. And gay!

Nico: Fine, okay I'm gay!

Leo, Jason, Percy, Piper, LiLi, Annabeth, Leo, and Hazel: Hooray!!

Actual song:

LiLi as Elle

Percy as Callahan

Piper as Vivienne

Frank as Emmet

Jason as Warner

Annabeth as Enid

Nico as Nikos

Hazel as Brooke

Leo as Carlos

Reyna as the judge

Sorry for the super long chapter! I hope you found this funny tho!