sorry || ongniel

Twenty-Two

-Entry 1

My heart fetl heavy. The letter that he gave was too much. It was beyond my feelings. Right now, my body doesn't feel like its funtioning. I felt like my hopes and dreams are slowly crashing and burning down. I can't seem to see the end of this. I just want him back, that's all. But why? Why didn't he tell me? Things would be easier if he told me. Every night i suffered, i remembered each word that was carved with that pen. I wanted to forget but if only it was that easy. I wanted to scream but it wasn't helping. I felt like an abandoned house waiting for a dead owner. It pains me too much, i just can't hold it.

-Entry 4

I refused to believe that he was gone. I didn't want to be a fool but I told my mind tons of time that none of this is happening. No matter how much time I told myself but sadly, this was the truth. The truth that I never wanted to know. It hurts myself. That's why I told myself its just a nightmare that I've been facing.

Weeks and days passed by. Quiet and quick each day was going. Deep down in my chest wasn't close to healing. All my days used to be with Daniel but now without his presence, I can feel the loneliness. The emptiness that one was supposed to feel. I could feel the broken pieces that I had deep down. Like I said, I wasn't healing. By writing this letter, I hope I could express small bits of my pain in my entry this time. I didn't want to make it sad since the last entry I wrote caught me in tears a lot. But I'll try to get better as days pass by. Even though Daniel asked me to hate him, my heart can't do that. Disliking him already felt like a crime, imagine hating him?

-Entry 7

I got another main role on the upcoming play. I think I'll be a poor beggar but that's okay. This is enough for me to distract myself from thinking about him. I lost count since the last time i saw him, hm, i wonder what he looked like—— WAIT, pUll yourself together Ong! Stop stop. I'm sorry, i should move on from the start. This hurts me. I have to go. I'll try to write if i have another spare time. I hope i can recover this heartbreak quickly, I can't stand this anymore.

-Entry 12

Today, i bumped into someone. It felt like the day I met Daniel. But the one i bumped into was a guy. He was attractive. But it felt wrong for me to call him that. It's just that my thoughts are still with him and I miss him so much. I want him to be here with me, I want him to hold my hands right now, I want to hear his laugh again and I just want him back home which is with me.

Speaking of that guy I met, turns out he was also in the play. I was surprised that I've never seen him before. Maybe we'll be friends soon. Well, I hope so.

***********

"Ong Seongwu, are you ready?" He asked as the curtains were slowly dropping onto the floor. "Can we start now?" He asked again just to make sure that Ong was really ready to do it.

"I think I'm ready," Ong answered with a bright grin plastered on his cream colored skin.

"And you?" The director asked as his view turned into the black haired boy standing next to Ong. "Are you ready?"

"Um, yeah," He stated but it was clear that he had nervousness buried deep down. "I think so," he whispered softly.

"Hey Minhyun," Ong called out. "You'll be fine,"

"I hope so,"

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A/N: Happy new year to my soft and hardcore ongniel stans. Woah I haven't update since last year (pun intended) and I'm sorry. May 2018 be as blessful as 2017 and i hope our boys will achieve much more in 2018. Enjoy this chapter and I will continue more.

Ps: I'm still sorry because it took me so long to update ❤️