She's His Everything (He's My Body Guard Sequel)

(20) Let's Talk

Not entirely in love with this chapter but next chapter will be 🔥! At least I hope so. 💁🏻 I know lots of you are furious with me but just trust. 😘

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Jackson unfortunately was still in the shower so I waited on his unkempt bed impatiently in my leggings and tank. All too quickly the shower shut off and my heart started racing in my chest. Jackson exited his bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist surprised to see me sitting cross legged on his bed. He didn't say anything and instead disappeared in his closet to get dressed. I heard some hangers bounce off the rail as he pulled an outfit from them. He took his time and returned in a clean pair of Jeans and a maroon crew neck shirt with three buttons at the top. He aggressively towel dried his hair, flinging it into his closet once his hair wasn't dripping, and then sat beside me on his bed. I felt flutters in my stomach sitting in his presence and I needed things to stop being strange.

"I don't want this to be awkward." I spoke first and once the initial ice was broken I felt the tension melt away with it. He nodded his head in agreement visibly relaxing after a deep sigh of relief. "How do you feel about last night?" I asked him afraid of telling him how I felt in case he didn't feel the same way and decided he regretted what we had done.

"Well I feel like it was a long anticipated moment that only played out because we were too drunk to stop ourselves, but if I'm being completely honest Tori I don't feel bad about it." He shrugged, "I'm sorry if you feel like I took advantage of you even though I honestly was just too consumed to stop. I'm not trying to make excuses for what happened, but there's no taking it back now." He was so honest all the time and I was incredibly grateful for that in this scenario. I needed his brutal honesty.

"Thank God." I breathed laying back on the bed scrubbing my tired eyes with my fists. "I was so scared this was going to ruin everything." Jackson gripped my leg just above my knee tightly obviously too comfortable now that we'd done the deed. "Tori, you can't get rid of me. Even if we never do that again. I'm in your life for good and I don't care what we are I just like being around you." I grinned from ear to ear wondering how on earth he could be this chill about everything.

"Why are you so cool Jackson?" He shrugged laying back with me propping himself up on his elbow his body turned toward me. "It's in my DNA." I shoved his shoulder playfully and he flopped over on his back. "You know, last night was pretty great though... what I remember of it at least." He confessed making both of us laugh out loud and make eye contact again.

"How many girls have you been with because..." I shook my head not being able to finish that sentence. He bit his lip his eyes doing that play boy thing that he always tried on me. "Quit." I stuffed my hand over his face lightly pushing on his head. He grabbed my hand cradling it against his chest. "Jackson I'm confused." I told him seriously knowing I could tell him exactly what I was thinking without upsetting him.

"I know Tori. That's okay. Like I said I'll be here and be whatever you want me to be. A friend, an ear, sex slave, whatever." I rolled my eyes. "It'll be fine Tori." He grazed the back of my hand with his thumb bringing it to his lips quickly pecking it staring right into my eyes darkly. The bad boy was back and I couldn't stop myself from what I did next playing devils advocate. Using the hand he'd captured I wrapped my hand around the nape of his neck pulling his head closer to mine peering at him through my lashes.

"While I'm still confused may I?" He didn't answer my question or say a word only closed the space between our lips. My mouth burned against his with a passion I'd only ever known with Rayner. I pulled away first attempting to piece together what I was feeling. His jaw clenched beneath my palm, eyes still closed. I was in such a vulnerable state I was practically throwing myself at Jackson because I wanted someone to want me. He didn't seem to mind the way I was behaving, subconsciously I did which was why I would not allow myself to sleep with him again. That kiss signified an end to this physical attraction I'd allowed myself to give into. I just hoped he'd understood that.

Hours later we'd stuffed our faces full of greasy food and went to our separate rooms. I was starting school back Monday so I really needed to get back to business and quit acting like a party animal. I broke out my books and went over the previous chapters notes I'd learned and skipped ahead a little so I could refresh my memory. I tried my hardest to concentrate but my head kept going back to Rayner and how I'd betrayed him by sleeping with Jackson.

He hasn't even called...

He hasn't called because he's giving me space because he's respectful of the fact he shattered my heart in a million pieces.

Probably too busy with Eliza, just like you've been with Jackson.

I tried forcing my thoughts elsewhere feeling extremely angry. With myself, with Rayner, with Jackson. Which wasn't fair because I'd been more than willing last night but I couldn't help but wish he had prevented it although he wasn't any more sober than me. Frustrated tears leaked from my eyes and I got the overwhelming need to tell Rayner what I'd done. I hadn't necessarily owed him anything but I still felt like I'd cheated on him somehow.

I picked up my phone and scrolled slowly hovering over his name. Almost as if he'd sensed I was about to spill my guts Jackson appeared in my doorway loudly. "Hey Tor Ramona needs us tonight. She scheduled a last minute bachelors party and two girls called in with the stomach bug." I practically chucked my phone across the room in horror that I'd nearly told on myself. I couldn't tell him yet! I didn't even know what was to become of us and there was no way I was giving in first. He'd dumped me. We'd cross that bridge if he decided he wanted this.

"Yeah let me change into something nicer." I didn't trust myself alone. I'd indefinitely give into my guilty conscience. He lingered at the door for a moment as if he wanted to say something but ultimately exited my bedroom without another word. We still had a lot to talk about and I prayed he wouldn't pry and let me figure things out for a bit.