EVERMORE ; SM

Twelve

I play rock music the whole ride to the school of my kids to try to get my thoughts away from Shawn, I even start to count the trees on the way, to remember the grocery list, everything to keep me from thinking about Shawn, but how am I supposed to not think about him when I am about to introduce him to my kids? How are they going to react? Is Kai going to cry? Will Dylan be rude to him? How do I even make them understand the concept of a father?

I pull over next to the sidewalk, near the entrance of their school, and walk out of my car to wait for them to come out.

I feel my legs shaking and find myself biting my bottom lip, an act of nervousness I've had since I was a little kid. I shake my head to try to avoid any thoughts that were making me this nervous but it's useless.

"Mummy!'" Dylan runs to me with his arms opened. I hunker to be the same height as him and hug him tightly.

"Hi, baby. How was your day?"

"It was good. Kyle fell off his chair and it was hilarious" he chuckles.

"Hey, mummy!" Kai appears a few seconds later and I kiss her cheek.

"How was your day, hun?"

"Not really cool, there's this new kid who wouldn't stop bothering me" I stand straight and the three of us started to walk to my car.

"Maybe he just wanted to be your friend?"

"Bothering people is not a good way to get along nor to make friends" she shrugs.

"You bother me all the time!" Dylan says offended.

"That's different, you are my brother"

"I know it's not okay, baby. Just be kind to him, maybe he's shy and he doesn't really know how to get along with other kids" I shrug "If he makes you feel uncomfortable at some point, tell your teacher, alright?" she nods at me.

Kailani and Dylan are talking about their day between them in the back seats and I try my best to figure out the best explanation for them when we get home.

"Mum!" Dylan yells. I jump in my seat.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Ye-yeah, why do you ask?" I nervously smile.

"We're home, we got here ten minutes ago" he furrows at me.

"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, come on"

We head to the lift and, as they're used to, they hold my hands so we walk together.

We finally arrive to our floor and I feel my heart pounding and my blood is hot.

"Okay, my loves, there's someone uhm... special inside that I want you to meet" I explain to them when I'm about to open the door of the apartment.

"Do you have a boyfriend, mummy?" Dylan asks between excited and scared that his mum might be already taken. He's been always kinda jealous with me and he doesn't like it at all when I'm with boys or hangout with them. He obviously got that from Shawn. I shake my head.

"It's complicated" I sigh.

I open the door and the three of us walk hand in hand to the living room, where Shawn is already waiting for us. He is reading something on his phone and is so concentrated that I don't think he heard us coming inside.

"Sweeties, I want you to meet Shawn" they hide behind my legs putting their heads on each side of them to look at Shawn.

When he hears me pronounce those words, he looks at us and puts his phone in his pocket. His eyes get tearful immediately and he hunkers down. I push them carefully to Shawn, after all, he is a stranger for them and I don't want them to be scared of him or anything. Dylan is the bravest and walks first to Shawn. He extends his hand and Shawn looks confused at him.