After All This Time

Chapter 41

Ellie's POV

I am sitting on my bed staring at the red dress sitting in front of me. Tonight, is Alec wedding and I really don't think I can go, I've spent the past 7 hours trying to decide if I'm going or not and I think I'm going to go to Magnus' instead. I can't sit by and watch my best friend get married to the wrong girl. Izzy brought me the dress this morning hoping it would change my mind, but it didn't. I really wish I could be there for Alec because we always promised to be there for each other no matter what, but it would kill me to sit there and watch the wedding happen. I'm pulled out of my thoughts by a loud and quick knock on my door. I push myself off the bed and open the door surprised.

"Alec? What are you doing here?" I question.

"I love you." He says out of the blue that I'm not sure if it was real or not.

"What?" I ask just to make sure.

"I love you." He says again. "I missed you so much, and I hated you for leaving, but your back now and I know you've already said it to me and I haven't said it back, but I hadn't thought I would have been able to, and you never gave me the chance. Now I can. Now I can tell you how I really feel and that is that... I love you." He says all at once taking a step closer to me. I put my hand out stopping him.

"Alec, you can't love me your getting married today." I say holding back tears as I say these things.

"Then say the words." He says, and I'm now confused.

"What words?" I ask.

"Tell me you love me too and I'll call off the wedding." He says, and my heart starts pounding. As much as I want to tell him I love him again, I can't he's getting married and he is restoring his families name, I can't stop him from doing that. The next thing I am about to say is going to hurt us both.

"I can't Alec." I frown.

"Why not?" He says disappointed.

"As shadowhunters there is one thing we follow." I start saying holding back even more tears.

"Elizabeth... Please... No don't say it." Alec begs.

"We rule with our heads..." I pause looking to the ground rather than his eyes.

"Ellie please don't." Alec's voice breaks.

"Not our hearts." I let a tear fall.

"I don't believe you when you say that." Alec says trying to find a silver lining.

"I can't let you stop you wedding Alec because.... I don't.... Love you." Those last four little words killed me. I didn't mean them yet I said them anyway.

"You don't mean that." Alec says.

"Yah I do." I fire back.

"Then say it to my face and not the ground." He tells me. I reluctantly lift my head and look him in the eyes.

"I... don't.... Love you. I'm sorry Alec but this is what is best for you and your family. You can't be with me and have everything you've ever wanted." I say.

"Elizabeth. Please." Tears brim Alec's eyes.

"I'm sorry Alec. I'll see you later." I say pushing him out of my room and closing the door, but his hand stops it.

"Your wrong." He says randomly.

"About?" I ask still holding the door somewhat closed.

"I can have everything I want. Because everything I have ever wanted... Is you. Ellie, I love you, I've always loved you. I love you with everything I have and your all I ever wanted and needed in this world. Please I know you feel the same way." He pleads stepping closer to me every time he says he loves me.