The Marriage Assignment [4]

Chapter 21, In Love

[ inspired chapter by a work called, "I remember" by joe brainard ]

4 months, it had been 4 months since one of the greatest nights of my life. I saw lights, I saw architecture I dreamt of, and I had a sweaty palm dragged with me throughout—walking alongside me with his mask on was Min Yoongi...

I remember never wanting to let his hand go that night.

I remember a week later, my comfort with his presence captivated me. Sulking my side, I leaned into his shoulder, wanting a cuddle while on the couch. With a hesitant arm, Yoongi's blue cozy sweater parted, his arm went around me. He held me while sober. We watched a cartoon.

I remember 3 weeks in, I held an epiphany. "Yoongi's been staying quite often," I had told myself, smiling smiling smiling. He made me smile, his presence made me smile. And the nights he stayed in his room and I stayed politely in mine; was all I asked for.

I remember him complaining about Jin having a girlfriend now. He didn't know where to sleep most nights, so he stayed almost permanent with me—leaving Jin with his girl.

I remember the first month since the city-sighting. By the end of it, my heart swung from how close and right his touch on my naked thigh felt. In shorts and his blue cozy sweater, I sat beside him—both of us working hard.

I remember him finishing a song and not allowing me to see it. I fell on top of him. I felt burning at my hip when he touched it.

I remember wanting to kiss him again. This urge, the beginning of the second month, came strong and full effective when I got my period and told him to stay away. "We'll work together tomorrow," I told him over the phone. Yoongi bought me take-out with chocolate-covered-pretzels and came anyway.

I remember making our handshake. The second week of the second month, we sat watching an old Mickey-Mouse film while slapping and dabbing our hands together. "We should add a swoosh, or like a bam at the end." With his laugh I loved, Yoongi said, "How about, no."

I remember hearing a few beats he started to produce. There was thumping in Yoongi's room I heard from mine, I banged the surface that separated us; I mimicked his beat, added a twisting slap, helping him. "You're a genius!" Yoongi voice hollered from behind my wall.

I remember wearing his black hat with the rings at the corners. Yoongi smiled when he saw me in it.

I remember stealing his cozy sweater again. "It smells like you and I like that," I said when he caught me by his closet. With a smirk and a towel wrapped around his neck, Yoongi left for the shower as he mumbled, "You keep wearing it and it'll start smelling like you instead of me." "Would that be so bad?" I asked. "No, then I'll just start wearing it and we can create a twisted cycle...I like that."

I remember when the third month neared, Yoongi got me to meet BangPD. The older man let me interview him and gave me permission to speak to the staff, especially the women. With the data, experiences, and stories through interviews collected at the end of the day, I went home and danced around exhilarated. When Yoongi came home to me, I jumped on him for a hug with my eyes squeezing shut at his neck. "Thank you!"

I remember the third month. Yoongi had three songs complete and ready to be approved and recorded. "Let me see the lyrics!" I whined, only for him to whisper a cunning, "Nope," at my ear and hide away.

I remember him asking me for help with more beats. He was insecure, and I massages his neck. Loving, sweet, and soothing I was—he left my presence with determination to slay his procrastination.

I remember Yoongi not leaving for work one morning without doing our handshake first. We had it memorized by heart and did it every morning he was here— "My good luck charm," he would call it.

I remember getting calls from our parents. We'd smile, we'd talk, and they'd urge us for a honeymoon planned. Having it postponed so late, I agreed with a nervous smile informing, "We'll be leaving for the cabin soon."

I remember the third week of the third month. I called him my best friend. Yoongi gave me a gummy smile—one I was used to seeing...

I remember greeting him with hugs.

I remember when he kissed my cheek once. We both blushed when he did.

I remember by the end of the third month, we had a routine and got busy. So, I'd write sweet messages on the bathroom mirror for him to see when he woke up. Using my lipstick, when I came home, he'd have a kind response written as a surprise for me.

I remember playing Uno and winning with a 10-way-stream while watching Yoongi's favourite childhood cartoon.

I remember him getting me flowers. "They match one of your favourite pajamas," he said as he gave me dandelions.

I remember I couldn't stop staring at him when he came home with different coloured hair.

I remember fighting over the remote control one evening. I didn't feel like watching animated characters that day.

I remember Yoongi gave me the remote and apologized for 'being annoying'. I hugged him and stayed against him a long time. He hugged me back, I smiled at how awkward he was over the lengthy time for embracing.

I remember when we stumbled upon a 'K-Drama Cringe Compilation' online. Plugging the television in and having the giant screen play the videos for us, we laughed and made fun of the 'food+lip combo' that came with kisses between the characters.

I remember how hard he made me laugh. Finding my bra in his laundry basket, he wore it over his shirt and casually walked into my room. I fell off the bed, crying, and clutching my stomach.

I remember when the last day of the third month hit, I kissed his cheek for stocking up groceries. We both blushed less when I did, smiling in knowing.

Knowing.
Knowing.
Knowing.
I remember,
I remember.

4 months. It's been 4 months and there is no question in knowing, no doubt in remembering. I know all I need to know, and I remember all I need to remember—

I didn't wish to fall for my husband.
But I have.

I'm in love with Min Yoongi.

💍

[ the next chapter is titled "Honeymoon" & will be published along with 2 other chapters: all on February 3, 2018.]