So darling, just you shut your pretty mouth [jalex]

I know my reputation's on the line

New found glory call me anti-social

I know my reputation's on the line

//mentions of self harm and suicide//

After school Zack invited me to hang out, no forced me to hang out. I would have went anyway, Rian had vodka but asking me would have been nice. Instead he grabbed my arm, pulled me to Jacks car and threw me in the back seat before getting in himself all while I was complaining and telling him how lucky he is that he's my friend or he would be on his way to hospital about now. I didn't want anyone getting any ideas.

"Belt up." Jack laughed from the front seat.

"You could have asked you know." I half complain, I'm actually kind of grateful my friends care about me enough to force me out with them, "I would have said yes."

"Only because I have vodka."

"Well that's true." I wasn't going to say no to free alcohol, "But I like you guys sometimes as well."

"Jack's turning you soft."

"Oh shut up Zack." I jokingly hit him, "I'm having a really good day today."

"That's great." Jack said before cursing under his breath as a freshman run out in front of the car forcing him to slam on the breaks, "Little rats."

"You was a freshman once."

"Don't stop them being rats." I couldn't see Jack properly from the back seat, I would rather be in the front with him because he's interesting to watch, I know everything about how Zack and Rian act but I don't about Jack, like right now he's tapping the steering wheel impatiently while he navigates the car park attempting to get out as quickly as possible, "Didn't you get arrested in freshman year Kitten?"

"Call me by my actual name." I roll my eyes, "And no it was sophomore year."

"Kitten." Rian teased from the front.

"I would hit you if I could reach." I kick on the back of his chair so I know I'm serious.

"That was pretty funny."

"What actually happened?" Jack asked, "Rumour went round you had a knife in your locker."

"Well that was true." I admit, "But it wasn't for stabbing people it was for self harming."

"Well it's not as bad now is it Alex?" Rian sounded like he was trying to convince himself not ask a question, I know it really messed them up, that's why I pretend it's not as bad at it really is.

"Nope." I lie.

"How did someone find out?"

"Drug checks." Zack shrugs, "I found out from the juniors who I used to smoke with that they was checking and warned Alex but he forgot he had a knife so he didn't worry and then he got arrested in the middle of a school day."

"It really made people scared of me though." Beginning of sophomore year people was already pretty scared of me but once you're lead away in handcuffs just as everybody's leaving the classroom for lunch it really shows people you aren't someone to be messed with, my shitty mental health and Gunning managed to get me off of any legal charges for possession of a weapon so I guess I have that going for me, "They all thought I was gonna stab someone."

"I can't believe all my old stoner buddies are graduating this year."

"We are next year Zack."

"But that feels like a world away."

"I plan to die either before I graduate or just after." Zack and Rian sigh unhappily, they know this and it does upset them, I managed to catch a glimpse of Jack's face in the mirror and he looks uncomfortable, a bit upset and scared, "Unless in the next year I get some inspiration on what to do with my life."

"I'm going college." Jack said, "Not sure what for because I'm not good at anything."

"Yes you are."

"Actually I know what I want to do." Jack retracts on his last statement, "But I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle it."

"What is it?" Rian asked.

"Don't worry." Jack dismissed, "I don't really want to talk about it."

"That's fine." Zack said probably recognising the tone of voice, it's similar to how I act when I want a subject to be dropped.

The conversation may have been dropped for now but I'm going to quiz Jack on it next time we are alone. He calls me kitten when I asked him not to and knows more about me that I ever wanted him to know so I feel like I deserve this one snippet of information. What could Jack possibly want to do with his future? If I think about it I don't actually know what Zack and Rian want to do after we graduate. We don't talk about it because it can set me off, I have no idea what I want to do and I'm not good at much so I'm probably going to work minimum wage for the rest of my life.

Authors note

(I forgot to finish my authors note before publishing so I'll do that now)

I never know what to put in authors notes. Anyway I met Don Broco yesterday they are such cool dudes. Buy their album.

Why do you think Jack is taking the information that Alex is going to kill himself around graduation worse than Rian and Zack. Do you think Alex is going to get drunk and confess his love? Does Alex even know he's in love with Jack?

Hugs, kisses and peace ✌🏻