So darling, just you shut your pretty mouth [jalex]

The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done

All time low missing you

The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done

//mentions of self harm and smut I tried way too hard on and was disappointed with the result//

Every conversation Jack attempted to start about my mental health I dismissed him. I didn't want to talk about the fact I'm not getting better with Jack. I don't want to talk about the fact I'm not getting better with anybody. Everything in my life is going amazingly right now. Why aren't I getting better? I have a nice family, good friends, decent grades and the most amazing boyfriend I could ask for so why am I not happy? Everything was going great until I told my family. Then I've been feeling like shit.

Everyone knew I've been off this week. Tuesday I got sent out of Spanish for shouting 'oh my god I'm going to fucking kill myself' when I didn't understand the quiz we was taking. When I got send to Gunning's office I burst out in tears for no reason. Wednesday evening I locked myself in the bathroom and refused to leave for two hours. My dad had to call Jack, Rian and Zack to convince me to come out. Thursday I smoked twenty cigarettes, I usually make a box of twenty last at least a week, sometimes more. Friday I punched my locker out of anger and left a huge dent in it, punching stuff is normal for me but I have tried to tone it down for Jack, it didn't work. I wasn't even in five minuets and I punched my locker because I felt upset, then I felt angry that I was upset for no reason. After this Gunning saw how tense I am and sent me home to relax. He emphasised I wasn't being punished and that I just needed to relax. If only relaxing would fix everything.

That's how I ended up locked in my room, resisting the urge to scream and having my mom tell Jack I love him but kindly fuck off every time he try's to find out what's wrong. Friday Zack gave him his spare key and Jack sat outside my locked door until he had to go home. It didn't matter I didn't want to see anyone he wanted to make sure I was okay. As long as I let him know I was still alive in here whenever he asked I don't think Jack was too worried.

Saturday he came over, my mom let him in and I refused to open up, I understand he wanted to help me but right now the best thing for him to do is leave me alone, the best thing for anyone to do right now is leave me alone. I just want to be left alone.

Now it's Sunday, Jack is down stairs with my parents, he just got here so it's not long until he comes up stairs to bug me. I want to be alone. I love Jack but I just want him to let me wallow in self pity for a little bit. I listen to Jacks footsteps coming up the stairs then to the knock on my door.

"Alex." His voice is gentle, "Please open your door.

"I'm going to sleep." I mutter unsure if he can hear.

"Alex I'm going to give you exactly one minute to open your door or I'm coming in." I ignore him and instead stay sitting crossed legged on my bed staring blankly at the wall and holding Jacks jumper close to my chest, I hear the click of a lock then my door opened, my parents must have gave him the spare key for my door they keep for emergency's, "Alex?"

"I love you." I mumble, "But right now I just want to be left alone."

"I'm not leaving you when you're like this." Jack shuts my door and sits down next to me on my bed, "I'm going to check you for any new cuts, make sure nothings infected, clean you up in needed and then I'll just sit here with you for a bit. We don't have to talk right now. Just know I'm not leaving."

"I'm fine" I show Jack my arms.

"I'm being serious Alex." Jack stood up and stood in front of me, "Strip, I'm going to have to do a full body check."