So darling, just you shut your pretty mouth [jalex]

I got into Nirvana And smoking marijuana My first year in school

The wrecks James Dean

I got into Nirvana
And smoking marijuana
My first year in school

//mentions of suicide and self harm//

Are you feeling better?-Jack

Yh but I'm not coming in today-Alex

Why-Jack

Not feeling the best mentally-Alex

I'm going in-Jack

Are you still feeling like yesterday?-Zack

What happened yesterday?-Rian

I'll tell you tomorrow-Alex

Ok-Jack

What are you doing tonight Zack?-Rian

Getting stoned in the skate park-Zack

With who-Rian

Vic and Kellin-Zack

Are they together?-Jack

No clue probably-Zack

Can I join you?-Alex

I thought you didn't like anyone else but us?-Rian

I don't but I should probably start actually learning how to socialise so as long as they don't pry I'll be fine-Alex

Yh I'll tell them-Zack

Cool do you want me to meet u after skl?-Alex

Yh meet me in the car park and we will all walk-Zack

Make sure I can see you before you go-Jack

Course-Alex

I love you full homo-Jack

I love you too-Alex

I started smoking weed about half way through my first year of high school. When Zack would go smoke with Vic, Kellin and sometimes a few others I always asked me to roll me a joint to give to me after. This would be the first time I joined him. I've never cared much about Kellin and Vic, I hardly knew anything about them. I do know they where in different friendship groups and that they smoke with Zack but that's all. I don't know how they became friends, I don't know why they smoke with Zack instead of their friends. What I do know is if they get too nosey and pry them I will punch them not caring they are Zack's smoking buddies. I've never got in a fight with either of them, party because they keep out my way, party because Zack asked me not to. I don't mind hitting their friends though and that's evident on many occasion.

I'm thinking I should stop. I'm nearly a senior and need to start to think about college and I won't be able to get through college or the real world the way I am. I'm probably not going to live to that but just in case. If I somehow fail or change my mind I've got to be prepared. Jack. Zack and Rian won't be around forever so I should get friendly with other people. I'm not sure if everyone's going the college locally, it's not really local it's just the closest to us. A tour hour drive and even longer on busses and trains is too far to travel daily so I would have to live on campus. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, either way I need to start thinking about the future and if that's means being friendly then that's what I would do. As long as they know I can and will beat them up.

If I'm going out today I should probably shower.

~

It's cold and raining when I leave the house. It's the sort cold and wet that makes me want to take off my hoodie to let the wind bite my arms and the rain drench my skin but I can't. It's not just scars right now, it's scars and day old cuts. It's things people can't see. I'm stressed and overthinking so I need to but I can't. It's just bait.

When I got to the school it was only ten minutes until everyone came out meaning it would probably be about fifteen minuets until Zack shows up especially if he has to wait for Vic and Kellin. Jack would be out here as soon as he could possibly with Rian following.

At two past three Jack was basically running out to me with Rian not far behind. He wrapped his arms around my neck and softly kissed me.

"Hey kitten."

"Hey Jack." I smile, "You alright?"

"Yeah you?"

"Ugh." I shrug, "I'll tell you about it tomorrow."

"Okay." Jack kisses me again completely ignoring Rian standing by us, "I love you so much."

"You mean the world to me."

"Ew." Rian joked.

"Coming from you." Jack throws one of his arms over my shoulder pulling him close to me, I love it when he does things like this, I like to just have contact with him and I like knowing he wants to have contact with me.

"I don't show off in front of the whole school."

"Yet."

"Eh." Rian shrugs, "I need to get home so hurry up and kiss your boyfriend goodbye."

"Aren't you going to wait for Zack to..." I start.

"No." Rian said, "Everything's great it's just we don't feel like that right now."

"Makes sense." I agree, I see Zack, Kellin and Vic walking over, I look at my phone, eight minutes past I was almost spot on, "Zack's here now anyway."

"Hey guys."

"Bye Kitten." Jack said.

"Jack." I whined.

"Sorry." Jack kissed my cheek, "Text me when you get back."

"See you dude." Rian fist bumps me and then Zack as he follows after Jack.

Authors note

Sorry I didn't update yesterday I was having a awful day. Some good did happen though I got a job in McDonald's.

Anyway do you think Alex will kill himself before collage? Will him getting high with Kellin, Vic and Zack go well?

Hugs, kisses and peace ✌🏻