Trash 쓰레기 {Yoonmin} (COMPLETED)

30

"So how long are you going to be like this?"

"Like what, Prez?"

"Like a soulless being."

"I've always been soulless."

"Yeah but now, you're like.... more soulless since two months ago? I don't know, man. I mean, I don't even get why you broke up with Jiminie if you're still in love with him."

"It's just not meant to be."

"Says you."

"What do you fucking mean by that?"

"Woah. No need to be so hostile, Yoongs."

"Sorry."

"See? This is what I mean. You've been crappy, snappy and basically bitchy with everything and everyone."

"Fuck..." Yoongi slammed his pen down on his desk and turned around to face his Hoseok. He really needed to focus on his notes. His finals were coming up but he seemed to be having trouble concentrating, especially when his roommate kept on reminding him of Jimin. "And your point is?"

"My point is, either you suck it up and be chill about it, or do something about this whole Jiminie thing."

"Stop calling him Jiminie."

"Why? You're not with him anymore. You don't have a say in th—"

Before Yoongi knew it, his hands were clutching Hoseok's collar tight, almost choking the other man, while he breathed down on his face. "You don't have a say in whatever it is between me and Jimin."

The other man simply smiled. "Finally."

"What?" Yoongi hissed through his teeth.

"You do realize you're now crying, right?"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Prez?" A drop of tear fell on Yoongi's grip of Hoseok's collar, and then two and finally, a man sat on the floor, hugging his knees while he cried his heart out again out of longing for Jimin.

"Yoongs," patting the crying man on the back, Hoseok spoke softly. "What were you so afraid of?"

"I don't know... I kept on thinking what if he left me again. I don't think I can go through that anymore."

"So you left first? Well that was stupid."

"I know."

"Yoongs."

"What?"

"Go."

All his life, Yoongi had never felt unable to breath like how he felt now. With the sobbing and the running, it was difficult for him to suck in the cold November air.

People had been looking at him weirdly. Of course. It was almost midnight and students were still around studying - it being the finals weeks.

But right now, all Yoongi could think of was how to apologize to Jimin. What to say. How to get him back.

Reaching upon Jimin's door, Yoongi's knuckles hovered over the piece of wood, trying to catch his breath before knocking.

When he finally did, he came face to face with a boy, lips thick and smile so sweet.

"Hey Yoongi. You okay?"

Yoongi nodded. "Taemin, where's Jimin?"

"Umm... He's home."

"Busan?"

"I mean, your home. He's done with his papers. He went back this morning for his mom's 100th day. I thought you went back too."

"Fuck." Yoongi had never felt so shitty with himself as he was now.

Yoongi had forgotten the one thing he promised himself.

Always.

"Sorry, Yoongi."

"No, no. That's okay. Thanks." As Yoongi turned to leave, a hand held him back by the shoulder.

"Wait. There's something I need to give you."

Taemin went back inside and came back out a few seconds later holding an envelope. "For you."

With shaky hands, Yoongi held the white plain, thin piece of paper that was holding another piece of paper and something heavier. Nothing was on the envelope except for his name, "Min Yoongi".

Even through all his tears, Yoongi smiled at Jimin's beautiful and neat handwriting.

"He was heartbroken, you know." Taemin was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed in front of his chest.

Nodding lightly, Yoongi sighed out as he wiped his eyes with the sleeves of his shirt. "I messed up, Taemin."

"Yeah you did."

————

Dear Yoongi,

A million things had gone through my head for these past two months. I blamed you for a lot of things, but I blamed myself too.

Even when I have nothing, you loved me. For that, I should thank you.

I love you, Yoongi.

I'm sorry for four years ago when I left and never once replied to your beautiful words. But I treasure them with all my heart.

I couldn't reply. I told myself I wanted you to stop holding on by not doing that, when I could've just changed my number.

You were right. I didn't want to let go either. I was selfish. And I never thanked you for holding on.

Three months ago when I left for Busan I did the same thing. Again, I was selfish. I wanted you to come running for me, and you did. But I still didn't thank you.

When we were finally together, I waited for your texts so I could finally reply them. It was my fault too for not texting first. No matter how much you would tell me I at least have you, I still felt it wasn't enough for me. I needed to have something else to feel I deserve you.

Let me find what is missing in me. And when I have, I'll come back for you. At that moment, I will never leave ever again, if you'll have me back.

By the time this letter reaches you, I might not be be South Korea anymore. You can ask Mr. Kim from school if you'd like to know more.

I love you Yoongi. I miss you.

P/s: You were right. I could always find you when I miss you so bad.

Yoongi folded the letter back. He had stopped crying for a while. Mostly he was confused now. What did Jimin mean by him not being in South Korea anymore? And what did that have anything to do with Mr. Kim?

Reaching for the heavy object in the envelope, Yoongi pulled out a phone - Jimin's phone.

He unlocked it easily.

0903.

The first thing that popped out on the screen was a low storage warning.

Yoongi went to the gallery to look at pictures.

It was empty.

The files were empty.

No games, no songs, nothing.

Swiping to the messages, Yoongi choked on a sob.

Stored in Jimin's phone were 1286 messages from him throughout the years. And for each message was a proper reply saved in a draft.

Replies that Jimin never sent, each signed off with "Come and save me, Yoongi."