Lies took the elevator.
Truth took the stairs.
Both arrived and met Revelation.
Jane killed a family in a car accident. Depressive and accustomed to self-harm, she decides to go back to where her life toppled upside down. Jane doesn't know what to e...
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I believed coming back to where it happened would give me some answers. I didn't expect to be freed from my demons, but I wanted to apologize for shortening their life.
Everyone knows I don't think ahead. Anticipate is a word I've never used, even in speech. So I didn't expect anyone to be there, but I was naive. What was I thinking?
It's the exact date of the accident. I could have at least predicted a relative could come. Never would have suspected the relative would be their son and that the son was Tae Won.
Though I lived the scene, I can't believe it. Tae Won was their son. I killed his parents and brother. I was so terrified when he gripped and wanted to take me to the police station.
When Tae Won told me it was a hit and run, I panicked, my survival instinct took over, and I bailed out, saying the first shit that came to my mouth.
I should have begged for forgiveness or asked him to kill me. Tae Won should have let me drown in the Hangang River. It's as though he's been contradicting God's plan since we met by rescuing me from every predicament I got myself into since I arrived.
Perhaps the purpose of his presence was for me to witness the death of the murderer than I am.
"The driver is dead."
It's not exactly a lie; I died that day.
What isn't true is the hit and run, which isn't a lie now, I hit Tae Won with this massive lie, and I ran.
After telling him to live, I left him on the pavement and went home.
Tae Won didn't chase me; the shock was too great, I imagine. I cried nonstop until I got back home. And now I stand in the middle of my parent's bedroom.
My dad searches for his glasses, and my mother turns on the nightstand lamp.
"Jane, honey, what's wrong?"
Drenched in sweat, the rush of blood must swell my face; I can't imagine how I look.
"Jane," Rebecca repeats.
"I didn't commit a hit-and-run."
My father's face becomes grave as he gets up from the bed and comes and grabs me by the shoulders, "Jane, who have you been talking to?"
My parents never talked about the accident, I never questioned what they did to get me out of it, and they never asked what I did.
Even Abby, who I believe is curious about the reasons surrounding my express eviction from South Korea, has never requested anything, everything passed into silence, and it tacitly became taboo.
And here, for the first time I want to talk, I need to speak. It's only now that I realize this is where I should have started.
"What did you do, dad? What did you tell the police?"
