Just breathe

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How can this be my life right now. Oh right because I'm a hormonal teenager! I have never felt like three minutes could take so long! I want the alarm to go off already but at the same time I wish it wouldn't. Ma is being awesome at hiding her emotions right now, I just can't read her emotions at the moment.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Her alarm interrupts me mid thought. We both just stare at each other. I know I have to be the one to get the rest and read the outcome. I slowly walk back to the rest and cup and grab the test out and slowly turn it over.

PREGNANT

I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me at that moment. Ma grabs the test from my hand reading exactly what I just seen. She takes a inhale of air and her hands shoots over Her mouth. I don't even know what to say at this point. I think ma is in as much Shock as me, even though she had this thought. "Congratulations. I know this is a shock for us both but baby's are a blessing." Ma states staring at the test. "Seriously ma, I'm still in high school and I'm about to go to college!" I say sounding hysterical. "Sweet heart just take a deep breath and calm down. We will figure this out. You know I'm here for you." She says rubbing my back. She should be the one freaking out more than me.

We sit in the bathroom for what feels like forever before she speaks again "You have to tell Kayden soon.". I don't even want to think about telling him. I don't know how he will react he'll probably be so upset, not to think about his parent's! This can't be happening right now. All I can do is cry, I'm just glad ma is here to support me. "I can talk to his parents honey, there's not much we can do now but figure everything with Dr appointment's" she says gently. "What if he doesn't want it? Or doesn't wanna stay with me?" I ask ma crying harder. She pulls me into a bear hug "Then he doesn't deserve you or this baby anyways" she says squeezing me gently.

I decide to Lay down for a while to think about what to say to Kayden. His parents are gonna think I'm trying to ruin his life. He's only a junior In high school and will probably get a scholarship from playing football. I don't want them to think I'm going to hold him back. What about me? What am I supposed to do now with college? This is so much to processes. I can't believe I'm actually pregnant, there's a baby growing in my body.

Fuck, I drank and smoked just a day or so ago. All I wanna do is smoke to relax myself and I can't even do that now or drink to get the liquid courage to talk to Kayden. This is gonna be the hardest conversation we have ever had. I really love him I hope he takes this well. We never talked about kids, we only talked as far as college. I feel my phone buzz, I pull my phone out and I see KAYDEN light up the screen. I'm not ready to talk to him at all, I'll wait till tomorrow.

I pick out a movie and find ma in the kitchen. I hug her from behind "Can we just watch a movie and worry about all this tomorrow." I say. I wanna pretend I'm a little girl again with my mom without a worry in the world. She hugs me back nodding yes. We get the movie started and cuddle up on the couch. Tomorrow should be interesting, that's for sure.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to comment your thoughts and like it :)

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