The Darkest Parts. knj ✓

12: Everything feels wrong

Take a glass. Don't be scared.
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Flashback

Monday...

I quickly unfold my blanket pulling the covers up. Tomorrow will not be easy at the cafe serving a full on nightshift with Gail?

The lady can bearly make a coffee yet she's on muffin duty. I guess once again, like all the times I'll have to fix every mistake she makes.

I hop onto my bed and gaze up at the ceiling, closing the light on my bedside table. It becomes dark.

My mind starts to drift before *bzzzz*

My phone buzzez.

I pick up my phone from the charger and check out who sent a message.

J.P: My sweet smoking babe ;) I received your voicemail. You can drop by my house around 6pm Saturday.

Me:
Sounds good :)
I'll see you Saturday

J.P:
See you there. I can't wait. I miss you so much

Thursday..

Namjoonie:
Sorry Akai. I don't think I'll be able to escort you Saturday to the suspect's house. I'm going on a task with my boss to an exhibition of Literature

Akai:
That means I'll have to go alone

Namjoonie:
Don't worry too much
You said Jay is a 'chilled' guy. If you feel nervous you don't have to go
We'll go another day

Akai:
It's okay. I'll go
This is important after all

End of flash back

I stand outside of Jay's door, ringing the bell twice. Even though I told Namjoon I'll be alright, I still am feeling nervous. I know Jay won't do me bad, I'm afraid of what I might do. I might give in to temptations.

I step back and wait for the door to open. I check myself fixing my black high waist skirt over my black long top. My hair in a ponytail and my knee-high boots firmly on the ground.

Jay's house still looks the same. For a gang member he really is living large.

The gatesman let me in, I assume he recognised me as Dean's girl. It's pleasant to be remembered as Dean's girl even though I was not the only one. At least some people had the assumption that we were together.

"Hey, look who it is," Jay thrills when he opens the door. I can't help the happiness that washes over me.

"Hey Jay," I smile stepping in feeling the need to impress him. He steps aside inviting me in. He whistles behind me after closing the door, making me smirk confidently. His house on the inside still looks the same.

Spotless. Not a trace of anything illegal.

His arms wrap around my waist from behind. I let out a shaky squeak and face him.

"How have you been?" I ask guiding my hands on his chest trying to push him away but he laughs and places a soft kiss on my cheek.

"I've been missing you babe," he says letting me go as hand holds the tips of my fingers. He leads me further and deeper into his house. "You have no idea how much it means seeing you here," he speaks.

I smile at how sweet he's being, it gives me goosebumps. The way he's behaving now, I can smell what he wants from me..what he misses from me.

I sit on the couch turning to him, he examines me with a sneaky smile on his face. He's eyes already raping my body.

"You want me already?" I gush.

"My sweet smoking babe.." He starts observing me up close. "Your body just got a flame to it."

I smirk in response. His hand lays on my thigh and I shift under his gaze. "Jay..." I let out.

"You got them rights in all them right places," he adds. "Oh look at me, where are my manners? I'll go get us some drinks. What you want babe?"

"Even if I say water you won't get it for me," I say making him chuckle.

"You pretty much don't have a choice, wine."

"No problem. Do you need my help?"

"Nah baby sit your fine ass down and wait for me," he says heading to the kitchen.

I shake my head getting up from the couch walking towards the framed pictures on the wall. A picture catches my attention quick, a picture of Dean and me, and the gang behind us.

I remember this day, New Year's Eve. On that day Dean and I were very much into each other. He had his arm around my waist, my body pressed up against his torso. I was laughing in the picture and Dean's head was inches from my neck. The guys behind him all pose in delight hands up with big bright smiles on their faces. The background dark but with a spontaneous view of the fireworks, spreading like wild fire. I dab my eyes lightly feeling the tears daring to pour out.

I wasn't enough for him.

So he went out there to find someone else and catch a deadly disease.

"Babe?" I break out of my little trans and face Jay as he walks up behind me, leaving the glasses and bottle of wine on the table. A dry laugh comes out my mouth as I dry the corners of my eyes.

"Sorry. Old memories," I apologize. Jay walks in front of me, he leans forward planting gentle kisses on my checks.

"I don't ever want to see you cry again." He says, intertwining our fingers on both sides. "You're too fine to be crying over him when he didn't even care for you the way I did," his lips connect with mine.

I don't know what comes over me but I take control and bring him close to me my hands running up his hair and his hands wrap around me drawing me closer. I kiss him back with lust and desire. He pushes me slightly towards the couch so that I'm laying on my back with him on top of me.

He attacks my neck, nibbling on my skin before licking and kissing. I quickly pull away from his kiss realising that it's wrong. Everything feels wrong about what we're doing.

"Sorry," I apologize. "I can't do this,"

"Come on Akai," he refuses to get off me. As tempting as his body feels on mine I push him away.

"I said no." I push on his chest but he doesn't budge.

"Dean is dead-"

"That doesn't mean you should try and sleep with me Jay. I said no!" I end up falling on my butt off the couch as I push myself away from him. "I didn't come here for this,"

He sighs and his jaw sets tightly. He sits properly on the couch and looks at me on the floor. I realise my skirt must be high up, so I quickly tug on the ends standing up sitting on the other couch. He closes his eyes- maybe pissed that I didn't give him what he wants. Then again I shouldn't have kissed him and led him on. Dean was his best friend. And right now I'm not trying to get myself back on that track with his kind.

"I'm sorry Jay," I say lightly. "I shouldn't have–"

"It's okay." He stops me and pours himself a glass of wine. "Do you want a drink?"

I shake my head.

"Fine then." He drinks his glass all in one go pouring another. "What did you want from me?" He bitterly asks.

"Information."

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