The Darkest Parts. knj ✓

24: We can start our lives together

I've been thinking.. thinking about you

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We sit on the couch together and I watch as she looks back into my eyes. Who knew, that out of her small body she could feel such big things. What astonishes me is that she doesn't even know me, yet she's doing everything she can so that I can find peace.

"Tell me something," I speak and caress the back of her hand. "How'd you get involved in...things like this. Like how did you meet Dean?"

"Do we have to do this now?" She groans.

"Please help me understand.. how?"

She takes in a deep breath shaking her head. "It's been so long...but what I remember is that..uh. My mum and I were poor. We weren't living large or even living medium. We were poor like down dirty poor. My mum tried working but what she earned was little to nothing. I tried working but without qualifications or experience or even a high school degree I was very useless. I met Dean on the streets. One night as I was buying at the market, he was there. And he offered to buy me things because of 'my sexy body' you know." She wiggles her fingers in the air, clearly disgusted by the term.

I see her face darken in sadness. One thing so far that I've come to understand about Akai is that she likes to be rewarded for things rather then her beauty or body. It's something that I admire... wanting to be more than just a pretty face.

"He wanted me for a one night stand and..." She looks down hiding her face. "My mum and I really needed the money so when he offered a large sum of money... I couldn't..." She takes in a deep breath looking away. She must be feeling ashamed.

I squeeze her hand a little and she looks up at me with sad eyes. "That was your past. It won't change your present..or how I see you. I just want to understand you,"

She slowly nods her head resuming with her story. "I slept with him and took the money. I...he was my first and I think I got attached to him because I thought that he.. loved me you know. I told my mum that the money was coming from a small job I got. She was really pleased. That's what I did. I kind of became his booty call whenever he needed me. Until one day when he brought me to the strip club. It was a whole new world. A different kind of life. And what made it even better was that no qualifications were needed. I became a stripper, I just danced on stage and never slept with anyone except Dean. It was something I could do naturally with no force. I started to get more money and it's like the higher I went the more suspicious my mother got. Eventually, I told her the truth and she wasn't liking it." She bites her lip. "She kicked me out and... Dean took me in. He took me in his world. You know, out of the many regrets I have, I really do regret leaving my mother. She didn't want to enjoy the money that my stripping career brought. I didn't know better at the time, I just wanted money. I became selfish. And the result was my life crushing. Dean became too much for me. He wanted more, not from me but from other strippers. I just pretended that I didn't care but it did hurt. I left my mother for someone who didn't even care about what I did. I tried...I tried to put my life back together. I made the decision to leave the strip club because it brought me nothing but misery. Jin hired me immediately. He said my face could bring customers in. He basically groomed me. I've been trying ever since to leave behind the life that Dean gave me... Trying to do more good things with my life... that's why I'm happy that you're here... You're kind of like my anchor... All I know is that I need you.."

I kiss her hand bringing her in for a hug. She lays her head on my chest and sniffs quietly. I sit just like that with her without saying anything. I can't judge her for trying to change, neither can I judge her for the decisions she's made. As long as she's realised that the path she was walking on was not for her, then I'll try my hardest to help her out as well. I'm her anchor, her light.