Generator

From The End of The Road

Mt. Si, 1994

I can see her falling asleep there, because her head keeps tilting back and forth. And it's just so funny. I worry that she will hit her head on the side of couch. I guess the reason she asked me to sing is because she needs a lullaby. And just like what I thought, she hit her head and wakes up soon after. "Fuck." There's something hilarious about that, I mean, she cursed in such a cold and flat tone. "Hey, I guess you better back to your room. You need a sleep."
"Okay." She just get up and then leave. Like, she doesn't really pay attention. Okay, that's weird. "If you need something, just shout." I can hear her voice behind that door so I reply, "I will."

Soon, I will fall asleep too, but before it, I try to see more of...you know, her life. See if I can find any photographs or something. Clearly, there's none of it in this living room. All I can see is book. Everywhere. "How the fuck she got all of these?" I don't really into books, honestly. I love to read, but not as much as hitting a drum or write some music. These books are all poet or something, but I can tell there's one that isn't anything alike. It's a book about space and stuff. I guess it's more lighter than these poet books. I love anything about space, they're crazy, wonderful. Don't forget about the fact that it's so huge that you can't really understand them. But talking about outer space, I just think about a joke. A not-very-funny joke. I mean, if you can see Aubrey, you will definitely think she's an alien. She's so weird, too calm, extremely pale and else. I can't imagine that. Not to disrespectful to her, but I really imagined her as an alien. Even Bowie's not as weird as her. No, just kidding.

Later I untied my hair laying down the couch. Slowly can feel my leg again. She did a good job with that, I guess. This might be more and more ridiculous when I see some posters on the ceiling. Who will put a poster on ceiling instead of wall? It's just getting better the more I pay attention to this house.

When the room is getting more silent each minutes, I finally reach a point where I can hold my eyes any longer. Eyelids so heavy, I can open my eyes. Reach my pillow and blanket to cover my face. The smell of the blanket is just relaxing and it helps me to enter a deep sleep sooner. It's a lighter rain outside and if it's not getting worse, I can back home tomorrow morning with that leg. But even though it's just a little tiny rain, I can't say the same about the wind. It sounds like crazy out there. It shakes the window frame a little bit. "Crap, I need another blanket so I will not die, freezing." I go to the door and I don't really wanna wake her up. I bet she already asleep and I can find another blanket by myself.

"Oh crap!" I get in just to see that she's in the way of wearing her pajamas. "I'm sorry. I thought you're asleep."
"You didn't see anything, did you?"
"No. I swear..." Okay, I lied. I did, see something. But it was an accident. And the lie didn't work either, I can tell from the sharp look from her eyes. "You sure?"
"Okay. Umm. Maybe a little..but it's just a split second. I promise you." Geez, this is really embarrassing. "Okay. If you say so. But why did you come to my room?"
"I need more blanket. I assumed you had some. Hadn't you?" She looks at me, I can't tell if she's annoyed or jut sleepy. I told you, she's weird. I can't read her face accurately. "Stay here. I'll get some."

There's a high stack at the corner and she get onto a small piece of wood to support her height. She reaches a baby blue blanket and then gives it to me. "Here's your blanket." Her eyes looked tired like she really have to sleep. "Okay. Thanks for..." She's about to close the door but something catches my attention. "Wait. Aubrey?" I see a drop of blood coming out her left nostril. "Yup Dave?"
"Your..." I pointed to her nose. "It's bleeding." And like no surprise for her, she wiped it with the back of her right hand. "Oh this. Thanks."
"Hey, you alright?"
"Yes. Just light headed. It's usual." Seeing that she doesn't even worry, I guess she's really used to have that thing frequently. "Okay. Thanks, for the blanket. I will..will go back to the couch." I help her with the door and now I will really go to sleep this time.

Did I already tell you about how good the smell of this blanket? She probably used softener with pine scent or something like that.

L.A, 2008

Say what you want about that night, but it would be lie if I say she's not attractive for me. I mean, I had Jen at that time but just spent a night with her... It feels like I can step aside from the lost of Kurt for awhile. Seems like she could always found something positive out of everything. Pretty much like me. But there's so much that I didn't know about her. Guess I'll never know. Things that kept us apart.

Mt. Si, 1994

"Hey, umm. Thanks for fixing my leg and... Of course for the stay. Appreciate that." I don't want to be a pain in the ass for everyone, at least I need to give her something. "Oh, and don't worry, I'll send you a gift for that. Fair enough?"
"No. I don't need that." She smiles, genuinely. "I'm glad I finally meet people."
"Oh, yeah. About that too. You can live with my mom if you want. Rather than alone in the middle of woods." I can tell she disagree with that idea, because she's smirking. "No, I'm good here. I'm not going anywhere."
"You sure? It would be..." She cut me before I can say them all, "I'm sure. I will be fine. Trust me."
"Well, okay then." I take my bag and checking my leg, make sure it wouldn't fucked up. "Right, take care Aubrey. Nice to see you."
"Nice to see you too. David." She laughs a little bit. "Hey, I hear that okay? I know technically my name is David but..."
"Just go." Now she giggles. I don't know what's so funny but she does. "Okay. Right. Bye."
"Be careful. You don't wanna ruin your leg again." She shout out before she close the door. But what's funny about it is, if I have to ruin my leg again to see her, I will.

I really hope no one broke into my car or did anything to it. Because I left my vehicle too long that someone might want to steal it. But when I see it, "Oh god." No, my vehicle is fine. It's just some kids might spray paint on my door. "Damn it. They sprayed Nirvana's logo? What a waste of sperms." I hate it if kids using our image as a reason to literally being a jerk to other people. I mean, they might not knowing the car is mine but, come on! This is what people got wrong about us. They thought Nirvana is all about anger, and rainy cloud upon our heads. It's not. We might ruined our instruments but hey, we didn't do that to people's belongings. If I have to named things I hate about Nirvana, this is it. The misunderstood.

My way back home isn't really shitty after all. At least it's the best I can get today.