Generator

This Is A Call

Seattle, 1995

It works, kids love it. Those 100 cassettes are worthy. Even Eddie Vedder played my track on his radio broadcast. I know out there they start their bet on me. Man, I don't know what to say. I didn't expect such positive response from people. And what's the best is they don't know it's me! That's so funny.

Besides all of it, what makes me really happy is something that Tom said to me about it. Like after I played with him, he asked me about joining his band. It's like a chance that you get just once in your lifetime. Especially when you respect and idolize him so much. He's the person that I look up to. I had to admit it's very tempting for me. But then I told him about Foo Fighters and he smiled very wide to me, told me that I should go for it. He encouraged me to continue what I already started. That meant a lot for me.

Now, after the album is out, the next challenge for me is, how can I do the tour? Or even perform on stage? I'm all alone. I can do all instruments in the studio, but not on stage. I talked to Krist last night because I thought that asking him would be a good idea. It's very natural for us to play but then as we think further, we realized how weird it would be in the eye of public. They will put me in a very bad position. They will assume that this is just another 'Nirvana' with different formation and I don't want it. So me and Krist decided that he will not join me. And I understand that as much as him.

My eyes go to another close person, Pat. He's a great guitar player and it would be a pleasure to play with him again. I don't know if he will accept it, but I really hope he will. We had such connection at the Unplugged session and to have him on tour will be great.

"Pat, this is Dave." I call him and hear his signature voice on the line. "Hey. How are you?"
"I'm good. Thanks. Umm...are you on project or something lately?"
"Not much. I'm pretty much available. Why?"
"If...if I ask you about joining me on guitar, what's your response?" For some seconds, I don't hear anything from him. Maybe he's thinking, or... I don't know. But I'm really nervous to hear his opinion. "Ah..maybe? I mean, I'd love to. But you're not pranking me, right?"
"Hahaha, no of course not. I'm serious. So it's a yes?"
"Yeah, it is. When do we start?"
"I'll call you again okay? I need to call some friends to fill in the spot."
"Alright! It's nice to hear from you again Dave. Good night."
"You too Pat. Good night."

Soon after put my phone back, I jump around my room and scream to the top of my lungs. I'm so happy, I'm so excited. I can see the direction of this. This will head to something good. It's good to play music again.

I got guitarist, vocalist, but bassist and drummer are a blank space. But I heard about this news, that Sunny Day Real Estate was disbanded. I knew them. They're also Seattle-based. And they're good. I feel like Mendel and Goldsmith will suit the needs. I'll ask them, maybe next week.

L.A, 2008

They're calling me. They said the ceremony will begin in 10 minutes. I see Jordyn waves to me from the gap of my door.

This is not necessary my first award, I mean I got them back then but I don't know why this one is different. All of sudden I remember like everything. And also I wonder what's she doing right now. She probably live far from here or maybe she simply still live inside her cabin. Maybe with a man and couple of kids like Violet. But, who knows? She never reply my letter. I mean, she knew about Jordyn and how I tried so hard to make her jealous back then. Never know wether she cared or not. She's always smiling. I don't know.

I'm a dad now, nothing can change that thing. I'm aware that I will never have a chance with her, that's why I choose to marry Jordyn. But I always want to clear things up. And also tell her everything. I know, I tried to make her jealous, but when I got no response, I decided not to do any futher.

England, 1995

As much as I like the people here, they like me too. This is my first appearance as Foo Fighters on Reading Festival. They probably remember me behind the drum kit but now I'm in the front stage with a guitar. Also, with my drumming habits, I got pretty much restless leg all over the show. I know it will looked ridiculous from their view but I don't mind.

The crowd is good, our performance too. But some media, oh god sometimes I hate them. They always love to bringing up Kurt's death. Like, get over it okay? There are a lot of interviews where they ask me about it non-stop. I'm tired. Kurt is my friend, but it doesn't mean you need to mention him all the time. How about my project? The real reason why I'm still here. Ask about it. For fuck sake. They love to scratch my dry wound just to make it worse.

But yes, that's the risk. I guess. I should've known that maybe what they want is like: your friend died, how dare you to even survive? You should've stop doing this. Hello? Can you just let me to survive? I saved myself and non of you help me. You have no rights to blame me for it.

"Really Nate? Some interviews again? I think we're done?" I rolls my eyes when Nate told me that some media want me to meet them. "If you don't feel good to meet them, I'll tell them."
"No, no. That's fine. I'll go to see them. Thanks."
"Alright." Nate is always a chill person, he handled anything well and I'm glad we have him. He keep the balance with me and my fucked up mood. I feel like now I got 3 more brothers with Nate, Pat, and Will.