Generator

All My Life

Chelmsford, 2001

We're here, with Nate already waiting for us in front of the hospital. "Nate, where is he?" I ask him and he points his finger to a room on the left side. "They bring him in. We have to wait." He bring us to a waiting room that makes us more and more anxious to see doctors and nurses walking here and there. We literally can't wait to hear something from him. The curiosity is killing us.

But one thing that we know, what happened to Taylor had something to do with drugs. We all know, only Aubrey who has no idea. And we're too scared to tell her. Scared if somehow it will break her heart badly. "What happened?" Her face on her palms, crying, desperately waiting for someone to tell her that Taylor's alright. "We...we have to wait. Okay? He will be okay. And you have to believe that."
"We just...talk.. he was laughing just to comfort me. I was...I was so angry about your break-up with Melissa and he didn't want me to be affected by it." I can't believe what I heard. "He told me you must have a good reason." I thought Taylor talked shit to her, makes her so angry with me. But I was wrong. In fact, he was trying to defend me. And I know I'm not as good as Taylor. I can't comfort her the way he did. There's nothing I can do to make her feel better. "I swear I will not angry to you anymore if it makes him feel better."
"Aubrey..." It breaks my heart to keep hearing that. "He will survive and you still have all the rights to be angry to me." When I'm talking, a doctor comes out from his room and walk to us. I run to him and prevent Aubrey to hearing a thing. "Chris, Nate, stay there with Aubrey."

"You're with Mr. Hawkins?"
"Yes. I am. What happened?"
"Lucky him, he survived from drug overdose. But he's in coma right now. Now excuse me." The doctor then leave me and go back to his room.

"What? Overdose?" I look back just to see Aubrey catching her breath with Chris behind her. "I'm sorry Dave, I tried."
"Dave! Did you know any of these overdose shit? He took drugs? All this time?" She's getting panic and almost lose her balance but Nate catch her. "All of you. You know these too? How.....I can't believe no one ever say a damn thing to me."
"Aubrey. I'm about to tell you today but..." I try to explain but it makes her even angrier. "Today? That's not affect anything! How about yesterday? Or last month? Did you guys ever thinking about telling me? Anyone?"

None of us dare to make any sound but Nate. "He begged us not to telling you."
"What? And you agreed? Even you? Nate? I can't believe this." I cut her before she blames Nate any further. "We agreed Aubrey. Three of us. Because he told us he will quit soon and he won't make you worry. What he said was make sense. But then turned out he won't stop." I walk closer to her as she start to crying. I give her my arms and she buries her face on my chest. "I feel stupid Dave. How can I didn't know?"
"No... that's not your fault. He really won't make you sad."
"But he did. Look where he is now. Did he think it wouldn't make me sad?" I look to Nate and Chris, giving them sign to leave us for awhile. "Let's just sit down, okay?"
"I want to see him, Dave. I want to be on his side. Now."
"Okay. I'll see if they let us in." I go to a nurse and ask her if we can visit Taylor or not. She tell me that we can go inside in an hour.

So I go to tell Aubrey what I just got and then go to the waiting room again where Nate and Chris at. As we step inside, Nate and Chris stand up. "I'm gonna get us some food. It will take all night. What you two wanna eat?"
"Sandwich will be nice. Thanks." I tell Nate and then I ask her. "How about you?"
"I don't want anything."
"Make it two, Nate."
"I told you I don't want anything..." Nate quickly cut her, "You need to get something. I think Taylor will say the same if he was here." And it shut her up. She just nods. "Okay. I'll be back soon. Come on Chris."

That one hour feels so long. We already eat our food and yet no one tell us when we can see him. I can feel she's getting tired but she resist to sleep. I don't know what I was thinking, but I put my hand on her head and pull her closer so her head is on my shoulder. "Why they took so long, Dave?"
"They need to make sure we will not disturb him." I'm rubbing her side head and tug her hair behind her ear.

"You can see him. But just two in a time." A nurse go to see us and I look to her. "There you go. I'll catch up."
"Can I go first?" Nate ask me and I nod. "Yeah, sure." So Aubrey and Nate go inside his room with the nurse. I don't know what will I see inside and I'm so scared. I'm scared of seeing Taylor's condition. I'm kinda glad that Nate go first. Then Chris take a seat beside me. "Hey, Dave. I know I'm new here, but....can I ask you something?"
"What?"
"Are you sure you got no past with that girl?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Aubrey. I know you guys said you met her when Taylor introduce you two. But that seems odd. I feel like it's more than that."
"No, nothing. I just feel like she's my sister. Even Nate does. Also Pat. She's our sister."
"Oh, okay. Sorry about my question." Who am I lying to? He was right, it's more than that. I like her. Even worse, I love her. It's just...I don't know if she does the same. All I know, she loves Taylor more than anything. Even than herself.