So: While I have been diagnosed with anxiety-I have never experienced a panic attack and I don’t claim to know much, if anything, about what it is like to have one. I would just like to say-I don’t mean to undermine or glorify anxiety and/or panic attacks and I don’t mean to inaccurately portray anything though I understand there is a high chance of me doing so and I would like to apologise beforehand.
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You didn’t want to come back, especially after everything that had happened. You just knew that it wasn’t going to end well.
Tony had managed to convince you to come down for the weekend, telling you that there was something he had to do for you. You really didn’t want to, but the moment he mentioned Hannah…you caved.
Hannah Baker was your best friend.
Despite the small age difference, the two of you had been as thick of thieves and leaving her behind when you went away to school will always be your biggest regret.
If only you had known…had some idea of what she was going through…
Sitting on the curb of your childhood home as you wait to be picked up, you can’t help but think of when you first met Hannah. Kat had been the one to introduce you to her, knowing you would hit of it straight away.
The honk of a car caught your attention, lifting your eyes from the road to the red mustang now parked across from you-a grin fills your face.
Tony steps out of his car and opens his arms as you jog the distance to meet him. Pulling you into a tight hug, he lets out a small laugh. “Nice to see you,” he smiles.
“I’ve missed you,” you mumble. You had known Tony for so long, you had lost count of the years.
“Come on,” he says, pulling away. “We don’t have much time.”
“Why?” you ask, your face screwing up as you make your way around the car to get into the passengers seat.
“We’re meeting Clay later.”
Your expression softens, “I’ve missed him, too,” you sigh.
“Maybe if you called more often, you wouldn’t miss us so much,” Tony tells you.
You hit his arm gently before reaching up to take hold of the seatbelt. “It works both ways,” you counter before frowning, “plus after…” you trail off, knowing he would catch on, “I just needed some time to-”
“I get it,” he assures you. “Don’t stress.”
“So tell me, why did you ask me to come all the way out here?”
Tony’s grip on the steering wheel tightens, before he pulls out of your street. “I need to explain something before I give them to you,” he sighs.
“Give me what?”
He licks his lips, casting a glance at you before turning back to the road, “Hannah left some tapes. Before she-” he cut himself off. “She wanted you to hear them too.”
Your swore your heart almost stopped, “Tapes?” you breathe.
Tony nods, “She recorded them, detailing the reasons why she decided to do what she did. One for each person responsible.”
