Tears of a Clown

15

Olivia rolled over in bed and almost jumped out of her skin. The aching in her body reminded her of the sinful things Gunna had done to her the night before, and now she felt ashamed. Liv wanted to use the excuse that she was human and had a moment of weakness, but to put it plain and simple, Gunna finessed her for the cookies.

Picking up her phone from the nightstand Olivia peeked at the time that read 5:23 a.m. she groaned at the fact that she was already up with less than three hours before she had to be in class.

Easing out of the bed Liv made her way to the dresser and grabbed a shirt. She slipped it over her head and chewed her lip while eyeing a snoring Gunna.

"Donavan," she called out while lightly pushing his arm. "It's time to get up."

Gunna's red eyes popped open and he eyed Liv like she had lost her mind. Reaching over to grab his pants from the floor, he grabbed his phone and looked at the time.

"You serious right now?" Gunna sucked his teeth, making note of the time.

"Uh, yeah. I have class, so..." Liv motioned with her hands.

Gunna sat up in bed and chuckled angrily. If he never felt like a hoe before, he really felt like one now. Without saying another word he put on his clothes and made his way to the living room. Olivia was right behind him preparing to lock up.

"Let me know when you make it home," Liv stated as Gunna walked out the door.

"Yeah, whatever." He dismissed, feeling played.

Olivia shrugged and walked back inside. Once she closed and locked her door she placed her back against it.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She scoffed shaking her head. "I gotta get my ass back in therapy. Ain't no way!" She scolded herself. What was done, was done. Olivia didn't regret it, but she kind of knew what was coming next and wasn't for that at all.

Sex with Gunna wasn't something Liv had on her to-do list, but it happened. She could sit around and pout about it, but she would much rather acknowledge it, and move on from it.

They were both consenting adults and the sex was both needed and good.

Stepping out of her head Olivia made her way to the bathroom to shower. She adjusted the temperature of her water before heading to her room to grab her phone.

Chris: Call me when you have time, need to vent!!

After sending the text Olivia clicked on the Pandora app and scrolled to Jhene Aiko's station. At the moment she needed a mood, and Jhene was the exact mood she was looking for. Sativa came through Liv's shower speaker and she closed her eyes for a second, relishing in the words of the song.

The song was fitting because if Liv had to compare Gunna to anything, it would have to be a drug. He could either give the highest of highs, or the lowest of lows. There was no gray area with him, and she peeped that.

Starting something with Gunna wouldn't be the smart thing for Olivia to do no matter how alluring his aura was. He'd merely be used as a pain reliever for her, and there was no telling what he'd be looking for in return.

If she was selfish, Olivia would indulge him, but the side effects of their union would counteract. Your addiction could never be your cure, and that's why she planned on keeping things strictly platonic.

Where Liv was lacking, so was Gunna. Broken pieces could not self repair, no matter how strong they were individually.

Sighing heavily Olivia pulled the t-shirt over her head and stepped inside the shower. For a minute she stood still under the warm water allowing it to beat against her aching muscles. She allowed Jhene's words to drown out the events of the previous night as the remnants washed down the drain.
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