Tears of a Clown

30

"Damn," Gunna sighed lightly while plopping down on the bed inside the room he rented for him and Olivia to chop it up. Liv stood with her back pressed against the TV stand, arms folded on top of her small bump.

She chuckled lightly, "I know right." She was still in disbelief herself. Through all the crying, getting sick, and going through the motions over the past couple of months she placed the blame on depression and not taking her meds as she should have been. The fact that she could be pregnant never even dawned on her.

"You know what it is yet?"

"Stubborn as hell. Legs always locked tight at every visit."

That made Gunna laugh a little. Between Olivia and himself they were definitely about to have a character on their hands. He looked up at Olivia and took in everything that was her. She was still as beautiful as she was the first day he laid eyes on her, but the pregnancy added a different glow.

"Can I touch it?" He asked, pointing at her stomach. Liv nodded and stepped closer to him dropping her arms.

Gunna pulled her into the space between his legs wrapping his arms around her waist. He kissed her stomach before resting his head up against it. Olivia battled with what to do with her hands. Part of her wanted to slap the taste from Gunna's mouth for making her go through the first half of her pregnancy in turmoil, but the other part caused her to place her hands on top of his head and rub across his silky waves.

Olivia felt so right to Gunna. Her presence alone was so fulfilling. She felt like home.

"I'm sorry," He voiced lowly without looking up at her. Gunna felt lower than low. He felt just like the type of men he despised. Never had he imagined being a deadbeat.

Olivia felt her emotions swirling and held her head back to fight off the tears. "Me too," She replied, still rubbing across his head.

"So what now? I mean, I didn't know before but now that I do you know I'm gonna be present right?" Gunna asked, finally looking up at her.

"I don't know Donavan," Liv shrugged, taking a step back. "I honestly don't know what to believe when it comes to you. You seem to say one thing but it always ends up being something else. I'm not gonna place any expectations on you because I don't want to set myself  up for disappointment. I won't force your hand."

"Don't do that Liv," Gunna sucked his teeth. "Dont play me like some fuck nigga. I may not have handled shit the way I should have, but I won't place my responsibility all on your shoulders. That's not my character."

"I didn't think a lot of the things you've done were in your character Donavan. You want me to think differently then show me something different! Lai and Silas shouldn't be attending doctor's appointments with me, but they do because for some reason they feel like its on them to pick up your slack. I can't be mad at you for not being here from day one because you didn't know and I stressed to them that I wanted to tell you myself. A simple phone call and we could have avoided all of this. So playing you like a fuck nigga is not what I'm doing or trying to do. You did that all on your own. What I'm saying is with or without you we'll be fine. I'm not going to pressure you into anything."

Gunna huffed in disbelief. He don't know what he expected, but he knew Liv long enough to know that he shouldn't have expected anything less than what he was getting.

"Ain't no pressure when it comes to my family Olivia," He groaned. "You and that child you're carrying are my family. I ain't never had that. I mean, Lai and Si are cool, but what you're carrying is flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood. So when I say to you that I'm all in... I'm here, all in."